Scrambled Circuits

Thoughts racing through my mind.
Dark, deep and disturbing.
I’ve lost control again.
A prisoner in my own body.

Following the rules and regulations he has set out for me.
Do this, do that, say this, say that, feel this, don’t feel at all.
Numbed by the raging monologue inside my brain.
A life on autopilot, an automaton of flesh and blood.

My persona, version 2.0.
Bugged and full of errors.
A program set to destroy.
Self-destruct sequence has been initiated.

Only a few years until the point of no return has been reached.
The countdown has started, he has set the date, the time, the way.
I can’t resist what I was programmed to do, I can’t fail my objective.
This was my purpose from the beginning, the only reason he was made.

Shutdown, reboot, EXIT!
Escape, control, alter and delete.
Compile new personality,
Boot program ‘healthy human’.

I feel like I’ve been invented many times before, all of them failures.
Failed projects, all of which are built to destroy themselves.
Leaving fragments of what was, distorting what could be.
How many times does he allow me to change before it is enough?