You Can Call Me Hank

I don't believe in ghosts but this is a true story. Maybe some exaggeration but hear me out.  

I heard a loud noise, like something crashing into the outhouse. There was no smoke or flames, just wood and toilet paper magazines. It frighten the chickens and they were stampeding and tearing up the okra. Granny was in her nudies and grandpa wasn't far behind. From the wreckage, outstepped a ghost dressed in a suit and off-white cowboy hat. I thought it was Roy Rogers but it spoke. "You can call me Hank!

"Granny screamed. "Git out of th' butterbeans, y'all!"

He said, "I'm a rolling stone, all alone and lost."

Grand told him that he was in Planta Wart, Georgia, and If he didn't get out of the butterbeans, she was going to put buckshot in his scrawny ass.
  
He look at granny and cried. "Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold heart?"  
 
"What does arti' chokes hav' to do wit' you stompin' my butter beans?"

"Take these chains from my heart and set me free."

The only chains I saw were granny's Playgirl magazine missing some pages.
"I'll never get out of this world alive…"

"Y'all, deader than Will Rogers not git out of th' butterbeans."

"Kaw-Liga was a wooden Indian, standin' by the door."
 
"There ain't a door. Ya jus' skedaddled into th' outhouse and knocked it down. Tell that injun he is a jaywalkin' and to git back on th' reservation, y'all.      

Grandpa wanted to exorcise Hank but I reminded him that the spa was closed.