"I Told You I Was Ill!"

The ghost
Of Spike Milligan
Came a-visiting me last night
He was very funny
He was a scream!
I screamed
With a mixture
Of hysteria's
Of laughter, and terror
And to many bon bons
The night before
I asked him
What it had been like
Walking backwards for Christmas
With ying tongs, and diddle-aye po's
And eating birthday cake
With a dinosaur
Unfortunately
He couldn't talk
As he was a ghost
But could, and did wail a little
He did an impromptu performance
A strange act
He produced a box of
Bryant & May safety matches
Bent over double
Raised his ghostly clothing
Which looked remarkably
Like an old dusty bed sheet
Exposing his buttocks
Struck a match
And set fire
To a spectral fart
And then screamed the following words
"This is for you, Little Jim!"
And with that
The Goon, turned ghoul
Departed
Muttering the immortal words
"I told you i was ill!"

by Jemia