Bubble & Squeak

What a strange night!
Firstly
Fairy folk
Feeling forlorn
And seemingly forgotten
Entered my room
From my chimney
Coughing, and spluttering
And covered in coal dust, and cobwebs
Swearing at each other
They were so busy squabbling
They seemed unaware of my presence
Until i coughed, "don't worry" said i
"It's not Covid!"
"I hope you're going to clean up this mess?"
"You come into my flat, uninvited"
"Trash it with dust, and argue!"
With not so much as a by your leave!"
I forgot to mention, and how did i not
That these fairies were the same size, if not bigger
Than me
And i was also puzzling over how on earth
Did they come down my small chimney
And whilst pondering over this
They started to take off their costumes
Firstly, their fairy wings
The the rest of their disguise
And it was at this point
That i realised that these were not any kind of fairy folk
That i'd ever heard off
And that they were in fact aliens
At which point
One of them produced a strange device from somewhere
Pointed it directly at me
Pushed a button
I then shrank down
Ironically
To the size of a fairy
I was now about 6 inches in height
And now floating within a strange bubble
Which convinced me that they were aliens
As there were no magic wands, or twitching noses
S o didn't seem like creatures of magic
I also became aware
That i no longer had clothes on!
And somehow, had lost my voice
So had no means of communication
So i decided to do various life modelling poses
This gained their attention
As all four, and a half of them
Stopped arguing, and stared at me
Almost in disbelief
Although this was hard to define
As all four, and a half of them
Only had one eye
Which was bizarrely based on their chin area
They had no hair
And their mouths, if that's what they were
Were at the top of their heads
I also realised
That although they had been squabbling
This had been going on soundlessly
Yet i somehow understood their language
Anyway, after being stared at
For about an hour
All in complete silence
During which time i'd performed
Ten one minute poses
Five two minute poses
Four five minute poses
And two ten minute poses
I shouted at them through my bubble
Saying that i normally get a ten minute break!
Especially now, as i needed a pee
So could one of them release me
And return me to my normal size
So i can go to the loo!
The aliens muttered amongst themselves
And was soon released from my bubble
When one of them simply popped it
And returned to my normal size
One of them, escorted me to the toilet
When i'd finished, to my surprise
The alien leaned over the toilet bowl
And i thought it was going to take a sample
But instead
Squeezed what i had assumed was an ear
On his head
Liquid came out
We then returned to the room
Two and the half aliens, had gone
So only two left
And throughout the whole sequence of events
Not once had they spoken to me
So i asked
Were they going to hurt me?
Or experiment on me?
Torture me?
Have sex with me?
Or steal my soul?
Or even worse
Steal my chocolate?
Or abduct me, and take me to their home planet?
They both responded with an emphatic
No!!!
And why would i even think that?
And that they accepted the bubble thing was a bit naughty
But no more than a jape
And that they were currently on tour
And that the short one, named Ploodoo
Was out of order shrinking me like that
But had been over indulging in Mead!
So had gone back to their tour ship
And they apologised for the mess
They then told me they'd met a variety of different aliens
But never had one that performed inside a bubble before
And that they were so impressed with this
That would i like to go on tour with them
Offering me a five earth year contract
And as they can time travel, and suspend ageing
I would literally go away for five years
yet come back about ten minutes later
Than when i left!
It was amazing!
The most fascinating, and intriguing
And longest ten minutes of my life!
The band i was in
Were called The Oogles
All five, and a half of us
Were a soaraway success
And all i had to do
Was life model in a bubble
And read poetry whilst levitating
They changed my name of the Naked Poet
To Poked!
Which didn't sound very poetic to me
Anyway, i'm back
And i discovered
That alien Mead is okayish
But couldn't fully quite get used
To smoking it
The only time that something went wrong
Was during our Black Hole Tour
When i farted in the bubble
And my bubble burst
The rest of the band
Found it the most hilarious thing ever
And wanted me to do this at all the venues
But i declined
But they renamed me, from Poked
To Bubble & Squeak!
S o quite an eventful Sunday 29th January 2023
Five years traversing the known
And unknown universe
And back in time for breakfast
Hope it's not
Bubble & Squeak!

by Jemia