A Handful of Nothing

I'll tell myself to follow actualization
My mind is fuzz, static derealization
Snap to focus, write in waves
My identity whole battle staves
Wear myself just like a sleeve
My mental anguish shall never leave
I don't recognize my funhouse mirror
My fangs have sharpened, I live in fear

What can I do when nothing's wrong
I'm mentally far, I stare along
I worry about losing me
But does it matter, I've never been

Is my mind aware of myself
Or am I hiding mental stealth
I'll never see me unassisted
Am I real, I'll be persistent
I never know if I'm honest
Everything exists as a test
But when I check system security
My code malfunctions all perfectly

Should I conduct an at-home lobotomy
It can only end in anti-tragedy
Fortune favors crude, rank blasphemy
Aching echoes of identical lethargy