UP TO EACH OF US ALONE  (9-7-2011, 12:20am, Palm Springs, California)

 
in living my life here  
in this continuous now  
throughout  
each and every  
cyclically passing  
yin yang  
night and day  
i only just now  
suddenly realized  
as this fleeting thought  
subtly occurred to me  
that i ve not  
had much time  
here lately  
to stop and wonder  
much less worry  
if any further  
long suppressed  
subconsciously buried  
unshed tears of mine
possibly lying  
in dormant wait  
deeply hidden  still ahead  
not yet stirred awake  
nor alerted quite enough  
to be spontaneously triggered  
and released  
to inwardly arise  
up to the conscious surface  
of my consciously self reflective mind  
to be reactively  
and negatively born  
into the outer realms  
of my still waking beings awareness  
here in my present lifetimes  
so called realitys  
ongoing  unfolding  illusory  
holographically lucid daydreams  
self convincing spell  
when  if ever again  
just as it always has  
come once more  
to unexpectedly tear down  
my presently still happy  
for now  
free dreaming skies again  
when in fact  
i know they will  
sooner or later  
just as they do  
and always have  
although sooner seems to  
have almost always been  
the predominant trend  
along my lifelong journey thus far  
which we each and all  
energetically and emotionally  
co create ourselves  
deep within  
the self limiting confines  
of our often self defeating  
egoically blinded  human minds  
own slipppery self entrapments  
through chosen shifts  
of conscious risks  
which can either result in  
grievous failure or higher growth  
with accelerated  
further evolution either way  
in  of and through  
attitude  perspective  
awareness and acceptance  
unless of course  that is  
ones attitude is such  
they choose to continue  
to only surrender  
to yield and succumb  
to their old  internalized fears
self limiting beliefs
thoughts
and doubts  
from which their suddenly resultant  
consequentially co created  
undesired  
own worst fears and doubts  
newly manifested  
circumstances  
may most likely become  
their newly co created
present  ongoing
believably perceived
experientially lived
though in
the actual  higher
transcendently awakened
bigger picture
truth
that lies in constant
eternal wait
just beyond the invisibly thin
fictitious veil
of their egoic minds
life long blinded self deceit
solely for the unholy sake
of its very own survivals
continued  ongoing
total control
which is only
a heinous  false mask
which perpetually
creates and sustains
their equally false
sense of separateness
aloneness and total disconnection
from others
and everything else within
the inseparable
true oneness
of all that is
so profoundly well hid
just beyond
the age old historical
human delusional condition
of its and our
innately designated species
free will natures
from way back since
its and our
very earliest beginnings
historically long run amuck
ever increasingly gone berserk
exploiting  raping and pillaging
over consuming
and irreversibly destroying
to and beyond
the point of absolute extinction
everything  and all
it possibly could
and still can
self destructively
illusory and temporal
present  dysfunctional
so called
reality  
yet even though i know in this  
that my knowing so  
in advance  
as sometimes on occasion  
has occurred  
may or may not  
help curb  nor stop  
those probable odds  
not quite yet given fact  
from coming true  
nor from manifesting  
into sudden beings  
becoming alone  
i personally choose for myself  
just as anyone else  
and we all can  
but only when and after  
weve finally learned  
to let go completely  
of all our old ways
of culturally preprogrammed  
thinking and believing  
and based as well upon  
along with all of that  
depending on how long
when and until
we each consciously
choose  
to look at things more deeply
within ourselves
in our lives
and within this  
our larger world
universe and infinitely beyond
as one conscious
living  unified
precious  sacred whole
we can never
but we must
both individually
and as a collective whole
make a higher choice
to consciously awaken
from this our deadly
already now more rapidly dying
completely unsustainable
unconscionably abominable
truly apocalyptic
lower consciousness s unawakened
still so deeply lost
spellbound
in our lazy  selfish
free willed  egoic blinded
human minds catastrophic
great collective
mass unconscious
seemingly intractable deadly sleep
which is without a doubt
perhaps already way too late
to do anything about
at all
as our
and all of lifes as well
true end times
are already and have long been
fast upon us now
and yet
despite all that
i myself choose to believe that
so long as there remains
even in a smaller percentage
of we humans
in this world
who at different levels
and degrees
of already being fully
or even only
partially awakened
that we may possibly
still have enough
or any sufficient amount of hope
true compassion
love and higher consciousness
oneness awareness
awakened vision
amongst and between us
that we ourselves
but hopefully more of us all
might and can
possibly still
serve as a vibrationally
powerful enough
collective human catalyst
of higher frequency
awakened consciousness
through the interconnected
inseparable oneness
and quantum entanglement
of and with
all that is
to still exponentially
cause and trigger
an ineffable
higher vibrational
transcendentally transformational
paradigm shift
which could and might still yet
spontaneously and instantly
quicken and fully awaken us all
simultaneously all at once
but beyond that hopeful
and validly desperate
potential possibility s
equally desperate act
an underlying
simpler bottom line fact remains
that until
we can gradually  
yet increasingly  
experientially learn  
and more deeply come to know  
that ultimately the choice  
in each of our lives  
and our lifetimes  
overall outcomes
depends completely  
and only  
solely upon
each and all of us  
ourselves
collectively
and individually
even more
desperately
now
alone