deepundergroundpoetry.com
YOU BEING YOU BEING HER
i loved all that
glitter
loved
you
nyloned
and skirted
and wobbly
on skyscraper
heels
and trying
so hard
to be
what you
thought
i wanted
when what
i wanted
was you,
feminine/effeminate,
perfect
androgynous
beauty,
sacred still
in heart
and mind
glitter
loved
you
nyloned
and skirted
and wobbly
on skyscraper
heels
and trying
so hard
to be
what you
thought
i wanted
when what
i wanted
was you,
feminine/effeminate,
perfect
androgynous
beauty,
sacred still
in heart
and mind
Published 29th Oct 2022
Author's Note
Inspired by Robert's "Do Tell..." comp.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
reading list entries 4
comments 10
reads 409
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Some Good expressive turn-of-phrases here.
"Nyloned and skirted"
Excellent. I would even go as far as saying
it is erotic.
Nyloned as an adjective is an intensifier. As is skirted.
(Semingly being dressed for a particular use?)
"...Wobbly on..."
Again, a risque picture painted. Trying to reach beyond hi/her usual heights?
" feminine/effeminate "
Now I don't know why but the joining of
these two words is a real big turn on.
" Androgynous"
I can relate to this word, a lot!
I see androgynous as being spare,
lean, with just a hint of muscle not cuddly
(it's that hint which works for me)
as in your work here. Sparse/lean
with a hint of muscle in the words
as in nyloned, skirted, wobbly,
feminine, effeminate. etc...
So, a thought provoking work
pleasurable to read and it must
do well in a competition unless,
read by donkeys.
"Nyloned and skirted"
Excellent. I would even go as far as saying
it is erotic.
Nyloned as an adjective is an intensifier. As is skirted.
(Semingly being dressed for a particular use?)
"...Wobbly on..."
Again, a risque picture painted. Trying to reach beyond hi/her usual heights?
" feminine/effeminate "
Now I don't know why but the joining of
these two words is a real big turn on.
" Androgynous"
I can relate to this word, a lot!
I see androgynous as being spare,
lean, with just a hint of muscle not cuddly
(it's that hint which works for me)
as in your work here. Sparse/lean
with a hint of muscle in the words
as in nyloned, skirted, wobbly,
feminine, effeminate. etc...
So, a thought provoking work
pleasurable to read and it must
do well in a competition unless,
read by donkeys.
29th Oct 2022 12:33pm
29th Oct 2022 6:28pm
This has such an underlying beauty to it. It's power is in its ability to shine from the ground up. Raising a light towards your admiration.
It's truly wonderful to read.
It's truly wonderful to read.
30th Oct 2022 4:01am
2nd Nov 2022 2:18pm
Intriguing and lovely. Especially with the androgynous aspect. Good luck in the comp. regards, Robert.
2nd Nov 2022 11:22pm
10th Nov 2022 8:46pm
11th Nov 2022 00:52am
11th Nov 2022 8:02am
Cheers Javalini.
Even though
you'd entered it into the same sex relationship
competition. I missed the point entirely.
Now rereading it takes on a whole new
meaning in deliciously sexy ways lol. Kudos
for the sensitive skill you've crammed in.
A well deserved win.
Even though
you'd entered it into the same sex relationship
competition. I missed the point entirely.
Now rereading it takes on a whole new
meaning in deliciously sexy ways lol. Kudos
for the sensitive skill you've crammed in.
A well deserved win.
11th Nov 2022 1:26pm
Rew, you brighten my rainy morning.
I'm often conscious of the idea of expressing a thing without saying it outright -- trying to evoke or convey the spirit of it. I aspire to that. Of course interpretation is relative to the reader's experience, etc. Anyway, thank you for seeing between the lines of this one.
J.
I'm often conscious of the idea of expressing a thing without saying it outright -- trying to evoke or convey the spirit of it. I aspire to that. Of course interpretation is relative to the reader's experience, etc. Anyway, thank you for seeing between the lines of this one.
J.
