deepundergroundpoetry.com
Is That The Moon?
Is that the moon?
The sphere of light that levitates inside the void?
The white bead that sits on my fingertip?
Is that the moon?
The ball of sadness?
The one who swallows our sorrows and holds them until the next night?
The one who hides us from our own shadows?
Is that the moon?
The sphere of light that levitates inside the void?
The white bead that sits on my fingertip?
Is that the moon?
The ball of sadness?
The one who swallows our sorrows and holds them until the next night?
The one who hides us from our own shadows?
Is that the moon?
Published 22nd Aug 2022
| Edited 7th Sep 2022
Author's Note
(Edited and took suggestions. Thank you all for the critiques!)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 10
reading list entries 2
comments 17
reads 493
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
23rd Aug 2022 4:16am
Dear C,
I enjoyed your reflection of the moon. A subject of fascination for me especially when it’s a full moon. It’s just so beautiful. Welcome to Du.
H🌷
I enjoyed your reflection of the moon. A subject of fascination for me especially when it’s a full moon. It’s just so beautiful. Welcome to Du.
H🌷
23rd Aug 2022 1:55pm
What a lovely message. Thank you so much for your comment, read, and warm welcome. I hope to make lots more^^
24th Aug 2022 11:24am
24th Aug 2022 11:37am
24th Aug 2022 11:55am
First, this is quite a good poem. The only suggestion I have is to delete the third line and probably the seventh. That gives it more drama and changes the rhythm. Try reading it aloud and you’ll hear what I mean.
Again, I really like it. Welcome to the show!
Again, I really like it. Welcome to the show!
24th Aug 2022 12:17pm
I reread the poem after I finished it and I could have definitely reworded it to sound more pleasing. I'll have to remake it sometime! Thanks so much for your suggestion, much love.
26th Aug 2022 9:04pm
I like the simple purity of this, and the way it's entirely composed of questions gives it a ponderous feel. I'd like another stanza or another poem to address some of the answers or respond to the questioner in some way. Liked!
1st Sep 2022 5:45pm
6th Sep 2022 7:12pm
I love your poetry writing....I write somewhat similar...you have great talent.
6th Sep 2022 10:37pm
7th Sep 2022 2:04am
Well, with all these questions hopefully your academic pursuits will help in finding some of the answers.
7th Sep 2022 12:10pm
7th Sep 2022 5:08pm
7th Sep 2022 5:13pm
7th Sep 2022 11:32pm
Love this wistful (word of the day, right? lol) look at the Moon & how it reflects our mood, sometimes negatively, even when it comes to how we might be feeling about love, dare I say it! Thought-provoking write.
7th Sep 2022 11:35pm
7th Sep 2022 11:38pm
...And not just to you, haha but yeah, make it count. I can feel you itch, bursting with expression as you look to the heavens!
