The Sound of Tears

“The Sound of Tears”

What is this look I accept
From the glass that I breathe
Into my spirit of shards?
There are gems of life
Hidden in the waste there,
But I see only a broken mirror
And hear the sound of tears.

Tell me, what is this gaze?
It does not reside inside me—
Is my being only on the outside
Where my thoughts cannot be seen?
Can you hear what I sense,
And save me from listening
To the sound of tears?

I cannot save myself when it is over…
Hiding in a season where I cannot be seen:
Only shadows remain where the tears sing.
Can nobody raise a hand to the abyss?
I have stared longingly into the heavens
From the void where my promises
Have fallen like angels all around me—
Dying in the sound of tears.

The sorrow deepens,
No longer am I what I was.
I made a wish upon a star
That I can sleep tonight.
Only to sleep…only to close my eyes
And feel nothing for a time.
Once, I felt nothing—and it was a burden.
But I yearn to be numb and sleep while awake.

I long for the past when I was on the edge of death—
For courage to face another dream:
Sometimes, we rely on Hell’s existence,
For the alternative is nothingness.
But O! Nothingness…I have felt you before
It is a pain I remember with fondness
As today, I feel such a thing as life.
And life is an ache.
To be numb. To be nothing. To be asleep.
Maybe then…I can stand the sound of tears.

© 2022 Marten Hoyle