My Deathbed

I am trying to cry on my bed but am severely dehydrated
The dry tears are just below my eyes
I shout in a high-pitched voice for some water, only to be ignored
I wonder for a few seconds, “How wonderfully I lived?”
And then I think, “Where are all those people?”
When I could walk, I met them every day; It felt as if I was real
They would look me in the eye
I felt important, loved
Now I just see random people passing by in the hospital
I try to stare at them to find a known face
They think I am some creepy old guy
I can tell the time looking at the sun through the window opposite my bed
I have lost count of time, the day seems fine but the nights are longer
I vomit every night and pity the nurse who has to cleanup
I recognize her now and find her kind
When she walks up every night for her shift I smile at her
And she smiles back
I am assured that she will take care of me
My body is failing me, and so is my mind
I find everything a dream except for the pain
I am trying very hard to die
Death doesn’t come easy I realize
With this infuriating pain, I know that death is close
I shed one last tear and close my eyes
I know I am gone now and for good
I could see the teary-eyed nurse as she checks my heartbeat
I wonder what her name is
I see no other known faces as I depart
Maybe they all will come to my funeral and cry