Broken People, Breaking Themselves

Jealousy in too high a dose    
bends you over a table  
the one you stub your toe on  
then falls into    
a moment you run on tangents    
stitch together things    
we drag around like anchors    
hopes and dreams    
things unwritten that never had a chance    
but    
I've staked my life on the affections    
of vandalized women    
more times than "I told you so's"    
would dare dream of    
   
she loves you fierce    
hard and rough in the right places    
a suicide bomber    
smoking charred beauty    
a sinister ride on a haunted highway    
adrenaline straining    
thrumming against the skin    
from zero to naked before you realise    
she has a claymore    
strapped to her chest    
she's taking you to hell with her    
   
grace giving credence to the ruins    
cigarette in one hand    
my heart in the other    
while I tease at the pin    
   
sanity left somewhere on the highway    
the sound of steel tinkling on concrete    
waiting for the explosion    
   
It ends with me in a ditch    
staring at the sun    
cracked lips    
blistered skin    
wondering why I didn’t see it coming    
the things you believed    
were wrong    
didn’t know how to convince you otherwise    
because I’m me    
arrogant, flirtatious    
a tease    

I said I didn’t want this    
maybe I don’t know myself  
at least not as well as I thought    
maybe I like the abuse maybe    
it’s part of my predilection for pain    
especially when it comes to women    
   
maybe    
I’m  just full of shit    
probably    
that most of all