deepundergroundpoetry.com
How I Hate You, How I Crave Your Hate For Me
You spit
hateful words
hateful curses
but the pulse
in your throat
your rage-voice
has the same tone as
when you’re being fucked
I crash us into the wall
hammer blows
try to smash your pelvis
through the surface of anything
we happen to be pinned against
two cats in heat
spit on me, smear it in
razor keen aggression
stalking on the surface
not knowing if it would be fists flying
or pierced flesh
crying
out for one last
come
hateful words
hateful curses
but the pulse
in your throat
your rage-voice
has the same tone as
when you’re being fucked
I crash us into the wall
hammer blows
try to smash your pelvis
through the surface of anything
we happen to be pinned against
two cats in heat
spit on me, smear it in
razor keen aggression
stalking on the surface
not knowing if it would be fists flying
or pierced flesh
crying
out for one last
come
Published 16th Jun 2022
| Edited 17th Jun 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 3
comments 6
reads 118
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
16th Jun 2022 11:02pm
I can feel this write in my soul
I'm a cutting bitch in part
but an innocent soul too...
I have a feeling you'd provoke the vixen in me
you'd bring out the devil in me...
fucking bloody hot...
I'm a cutting bitch in part
but an innocent soul too...
I have a feeling you'd provoke the vixen in me
you'd bring out the devil in me...
fucking bloody hot...
17th Jun 2022 8:00am
My problem I provoke the vixen in any woman and have to pay the consequences, it’s a hard life being me some days….
Thanks for the comment Crim, good to see you here,
Thanks for the comment Crim, good to see you here,
Man, sometimes there's no doubting that we humans are cut from similar cloth.... Fucking hell.
You shine your light on some hard, brutal truths that most are too scared to tear open and let spill unapologetically on the page. I respond well to that ballsy essence. There's such a fine line when it comes to love, hate, wickedness, rage and sex.... to me, blurring them is unavoidable human nature, which if penned well, makes for one helluva of a stimulating read.
You write from your trenches, and it always, always shows. I can help but press up into the glass, breathe deep and marvel....
Keep 'em coming, Gaps.
It's utterly refreshing to have your caliber of writing to learn and devour.
( I can’t really pick apart your poem to determine what or if there's anything needing improvement or potential critique... hopefully I'll get there, though!)
Regards,
🌹 - B
You shine your light on some hard, brutal truths that most are too scared to tear open and let spill unapologetically on the page. I respond well to that ballsy essence. There's such a fine line when it comes to love, hate, wickedness, rage and sex.... to me, blurring them is unavoidable human nature, which if penned well, makes for one helluva of a stimulating read.
You write from your trenches, and it always, always shows. I can help but press up into the glass, breathe deep and marvel....
Keep 'em coming, Gaps.
It's utterly refreshing to have your caliber of writing to learn and devour.
( I can’t really pick apart your poem to determine what or if there's anything needing improvement or potential critique... hopefully I'll get there, though!)
Regards,
🌹 - B
17th Jun 2022 8:02am
Violence and sex
Rage and sex
Happiness and sex
We’re a pretty petty species 😅
I try to write honestly and use some writing tricks along the way.
As to picking things apart, practice, experience and start by trying to find things you like and why, things you don’t like and why, even if you don’t put it in a comment it’ll help you figure things out better
Regards Gaps
Rage and sex
Happiness and sex
We’re a pretty petty species 😅
I try to write honestly and use some writing tricks along the way.
As to picking things apart, practice, experience and start by trying to find things you like and why, things you don’t like and why, even if you don’t put it in a comment it’ll help you figure things out better
Regards Gaps
17th Jun 2022 2:18pm
Mmmm. Strong emotion is delicious.
I admire your thematic consistency , the slicing and cutting metaphor. Being ripped up, and coming back for more. Hot shit.
razor keen aggression
stalking on the surface
not knowing if it would be fists flying
or pierced flesh
crying
out for one last
Great write.
I admire your thematic consistency , the slicing and cutting metaphor. Being ripped up, and coming back for more. Hot shit.
razor keen aggression
stalking on the surface
not knowing if it would be fists flying
or pierced flesh
crying
out for one last
Great write.
20th Jun 2022 6:43pm
