Public Celebration

They're so beautiful together.

Beautiful sexy love is hot.  Keep on writing.

I really like this brief verse, that is really universal, and only given specific context by your addition of a photo and author's note.

A couple of suggestions, if you'd like to give them some thought:

celebrating the desires -  I don't think you need "the". To me "celebrating desires" is just a little stronger and better emphasizes the idea

similarly, I think you could eliminate "their" from this sequence:
they multiplied
their joy with


This is a very short poem, and you've got several lines that start with "th"... the, their, they, their, those... three of those right in a row, with the "their" repetition. It's a small space, and I think by removing "the" and the second "their" it gives some relief to the eye and helps to highlight a couple of key words, desires and joy.


Thanks for sharing the lovely poem. :-)

Thank you for the thoughtful comments. I enjoyed playing with the edits.

My pleasure! You really did play with edits, didn't you? I like the new streamlined version... really gets to the heart of the matter. :-)

Robust sexuality entwined

BIG LIKE

Oooooo, LV
You keenly and succinctly pen this little gem... it sizzles.

🌹-💙
B

Your comment feels good. Thank you. Your poetry is amazing!