Naked Thoughts Of Ruin and Contemplation

https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/boN7dvcqyKztMz867

because there was nothing else to be done and no where else to turn  
I lay belly down enshrouded in darkness to write  
pins and needles tingling in my unruly fingers  
squinting to find a place between the lines  
shadows are a tapestry of understanding drifting between  
cognizant and illusion  

honesty sticks to my throat like honey  
sweet and thick with the richness  
of a million hours of unacknowledged back breaking effort  
 
sorrow never sounded so beautiful as the buzz of broken wings  
despondent  
still fluttering  
still trying under the moonlight  
 
*  
*  
*  
 
how can I tell her  
the sky no longer holds  
constellations of our dreams  
an afterimage of stars that float between  
clouds and smog  
ecohoes of a secret  
whispered  
made an art of pressing desiccated flowers  
revelling in frozen disphoria  
 
but  
I am responsible  
for the irresponsibility  
of a lover  
 
standing naked in the kitchen  
a pulsing nerve  
tearing the knuckle bone from  
slow cooked pork steeped in thick gravy  
it runs over my fingers  
sloughing off  
as sunrise bleeds through the venitian blinds  
and a question comes unbidden  
do you still love me?  
 
and I find I’m more in love with  
the art of loving  
as I sup on the last greasy  
scraps clinging to the knuckle  
*  
*  
*  
I dig in the pot of madness  
leaving hunks of meat intact  
so I can suck at the tibia  
because the sweetest meat is closest to the bone  
 
Tell me what it’s like being human  
able to stand beneath the sun  
tell me what it’s like  
before nothing else can be done