in the shadow of doubt

 
I didn't know...

honestly, I didn't know
I sat in silence in your presence year after year
as I savagely war with myself and I wrote

I came here in my anxious moments and I knew
I could sit with you and be calm
we never spoke but somehow it was understood

you watch me from your periphery
while I committed emotional suicide over and over
cutting myself deeply

in my nakedness I would run these halls
you never admonished me for it
you allow my blood and cum to flow
you understood I didn't need you to talk

you understood the beast in me
no one could reach me
and yet you did with your silent vow

hard man, I grew while you listen
and you loved me
I didn't know
I didn't understand

how could anyone love me?

in my way I love you too
in the flesh I would surely crumble to dust in your presence
you burn with an intensity I yearn for
but I am afraid to admit

foolishly I reach for you with my cunt
when my soul was on the line
I ache with the want of you

tonight, I come to these halls to write to you
in my travels I have met few who were aware
I am a child compared to the wisdom you've hard gained
but know this I am evolving and growing

I will meet you in the shade,
within the need

I feel so naked, I feel so free