deepundergroundpoetry.com
Savage Daughter
I am a savage daughter.
I stomp into the earth, eyes
turning to the sun: wings clipped
by another’s undoing.
If I scatter misdeeds
like tiny seeds, call upon
the rain: let them sprout
their velvet petals so that I might
have a bed to slip into.
Let me wilt and whither: bleeding
dust into my Mother.
Let her swallow me so that
she may birth another.
I stomp into the earth, eyes
turning to the sun: wings clipped
by another’s undoing.
If I scatter misdeeds
like tiny seeds, call upon
the rain: let them sprout
their velvet petals so that I might
have a bed to slip into.
Let me wilt and whither: bleeding
dust into my Mother.
Let her swallow me so that
she may birth another.
Published 2nd Jun 2022
| Edited 10th Jun 2022
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 7
comments 10
reads 733
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Jun 2022 00:55am
Boo you forgot to add dark to the themes. This is indeed a tribute to the ultimate recycling, that last part , to die and be buried so that the earth can may continue her cycle. Tight Work Boo
2nd Jun 2022 2:29am
That intro was a kick in the balls. SO good.
"I stomp into the earth, eyes
turning to the sun: wings clipped
by another’s undoing."
There is some depth here. There is some pain. There is an Icarus-like theme in the opening, and I'm crazed by the concept that wings are clipped by another's un... doing.
Another's un.... doing. Someone else's fall made you need to retreat to the earth, and to disassociate with this life.
Holy shit, that's beautiful.
The entire poem was magic, but I'm truly enthralled with the opener.
"I stomp into the earth, eyes
turning to the sun: wings clipped
by another’s undoing."
There is some depth here. There is some pain. There is an Icarus-like theme in the opening, and I'm crazed by the concept that wings are clipped by another's un... doing.
Another's un.... doing. Someone else's fall made you need to retreat to the earth, and to disassociate with this life.
Holy shit, that's beautiful.
The entire poem was magic, but I'm truly enthralled with the opener.
2nd Jun 2022 3:38am
Dear E,
Savage freaking great poem!
“I stomp into the earth” yeah you do! I thought the imagery lent itself to a great storyline. The notion of seeds spread to create a bed to slip into after a day of Bad ass ninja world saving events, knowing the earth awaits your return to nourish itself and then do it all over again. This might be a slight bit away from your intended meaning but there are so many awesome storylines here. H🌷
Savage freaking great poem!
“I stomp into the earth” yeah you do! I thought the imagery lent itself to a great storyline. The notion of seeds spread to create a bed to slip into after a day of Bad ass ninja world saving events, knowing the earth awaits your return to nourish itself and then do it all over again. This might be a slight bit away from your intended meaning but there are so many awesome storylines here. H🌷
2nd Jun 2022 7:05am
So disturbing that I fear for your safety, while simultaneously being impressed by the significance of your another/mother rhyme. Great work! For the sake of poetic glory, please be good to yourself!
3rd Jun 2022 3:41am
9th Jun 2022 4:34am
What a wonderful write! The ending is perfect, btw.
This is so strong. I admire your ability as well as these results. Great write.
This is so strong. I admire your ability as well as these results. Great write.
11th Jul 2022 5:12pm
11th Jul 2022 8:53pm
Correct me if I'm wrong but reading this poem and I get a picture of a worm. Overall very good write.
16th Jul 2022 6:15am
It seems like a fuss, but, it's not at all. Just so e important rhymes kicking the day by. Aluv it the double E R I E! U rock 🍓🍑🌷💋🍇🍇🍓🍑🌷✋🍭!
25th Sep 2022 11:26pm
