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Lessons of Love
- Lessons of Love -
Being a faithful relating of a spiritual vision within a dream I had on the night of May 27th, 2022...
As I listened to the sound of the spring breeze blowing through the trees outside my bedroom window amid the sound of children playing down one of the neighboring streets, I felt myself suddenly drawn to a distant place and time which did not appear to be apparent. I was in an androgynous body with a kind of appearance and form that made the gender seem indistinct and unreadable. I was meditating within a temple high on a plateau beneath a lavender colored sky. It was late in the day, near dusk, and there was incense burning which had the scent of dragon's blood to it. There was music playing somewhere, and a young girl was singing to the sounds of harp and flute very angelically. I was seeking something farther than enlightenment and deeper than a spiritual awakening. I had already experienced those long ago but now there was something else, something unusual that called my spirit hither. I gazed out of a window, and outside of my chambers I could see three moons rising in the skies above a distant mountain range where five peaks could be seen rising above the cloud line. The mountains were so far away that they almost seemed like an abstraction of sorts. The clouds seemed to stretch endlessly in every direction... but yet they all seemed to be connected somehow. Perhaps this was because the mountains themselves seemed to be made up of clouds, or so did a trick of perception nearly lead me to believe! The walls of my chamber had an unusual fractal-like pattern upon them, and immediately I knew the place was alien.
My eyes closed, and I was focusing on the stars that lay beyond the skies. The stars had guided people of all sorts since long before I was born... and they will continue to guide them until the end of time. I will never forget the stars, and I could hear a voice telling me: “And I shall never forget you.” But the stars did not speak thus, for they were not there to help me, nor tell me what I should be doing. It was the voice that spoke and rang forth... but that voice could only have come from something living in a more traditional sense. I prayed unto that voice, to speak to me again... and if it was of a divine being then I was hopeful to gain that being's favor. But it was silent, and so I decided upon a different course. I walked downstairs, through all the halls of the main temple, and made my way out into the courtyard. There, the voices of many children sang aloud. There was a beautiful fountain there, which had the look of a very young girl with the wings of an angel. Her arms were raised above her head, holding a globe that was violet in hue, and her wings were outstretched. Water cascaded forth from the globe, down into the fountain around which the children were gathered in a circle, singing. In one of the corners of the courtyard, the musicians were playing their instruments. It was a very peaceful and serene place. The children sang about dragons and fairies, of monsters and goblins, of trolls and giants. Of wizards and witches, and of brave knights, bold soldiers and valiant men and women. Songs of legend and lore.
I began to sing along with the children as the voice called out again: “We have come too far, for them to take us away from you.” and I found myself answering the voice, saying: “You will be safe, I am of a certainty about that!” to which the voice replied: “Tell us then, when we shall meet, never to part ways again?” and I could not answer that, for I did not know who was speaking to me. The children's eyes lit up as they all joined in the song again, with the adults looking on with smiles and laughter. No one had seemed to notice the voice that spoke to me, nor how I answered it. The music ceased, along with all of the singing. It was then I noticed that I was not standing in the courtyard by myself. “Who is that which I sense at my side?” I inquired aloud, to which one of the children replied: “It is Enlil, a divinity of both wisdom and magic. He stands beside you, but his gaze seems preoccupied, as if he sees you not!” and I turned to where the man was standing, in order to see what it was that god wished of me. But his form was shadowy looking and vague, something I could not discern fully. I could sense hatred and malice.
But, he did not answer me. Instead... he turned his attention towards the children, who could see him more visibly than I could. The boys and girls were all of various ages and races, but they all wore very beautiful, flowing white gowns that seemed to sparkle as they moved about. Their feet were bare, and their hair was long and flowing no matter the gender. They almost seemed like angels, and yet they had a physical form. I had not given much thought to what my own appearance may have been, for I was all too absorbed by the events transpiring around me. I commanded that Enlik stay away from the children. He responded by staring at me intently. The then walked slowly forward until he sat on the ground next to me before standing up again, putting a hand against my shoulder. With his other hand, he placed the palm upon my chest. He then began stroking my hair, which appeared to be long, flowing and of a very pale shade of platinum blonde. I pushed the god away from me, and his shadowy face seemed to then smirk. He whispered something to me, but I could not understand even a word of what he was saying.
I cried out to any god or goddess, that could deliver me from that shadowy being... which I suspected was not truly the god Enlil at all, but rather some demonic entity attempting to masquerade as him. All of a sudden, an unusually beautiful teenage girl appeared before everyone in the courtyard. She had the sort of features that someone might call too perfect to be real, and yet she was real! She was wearing a flowing blue dress that reached to her knees, and her arms were covered by long white gloves. She held a small golden sphere between her fingers. Her hair was worn up in an elaborate coiffure, her eyes were totally white, and her feet were shod in a pair of silver sandals. She seemed to have a subtle glow about her, and that made the shadow being tremble in fear. I was happy to see the creature becoming fearful! The goddess, for that is what she was, said to the shadow creature: “Do you wish to do malice here in this place?” and the thing said: “Yes!” to which she responded: “Then do so.” and the evil being stated in answer to that: “But... but... but...” as the goddess exclaimed: “No! You cannot stop me. At best, you may only delay your death for a bit longer. You must accept banishment from this place... or, thus die.” And I could see that the children were frightened, knowing not what was going to happen to them at all.
I then sprang forward, a sword of light suddenly within my right hand. The goddess stepped back as if surprised by my action. I regarded the shadow demon with menace, afraid of it no longer. But before I could swing the weapon towards the evil thing, the goddess nodded her head and pointed to the sphere she held in her left hand, which she raised high above her head. She threw it at the demon with all of her might, and as it struck the creature a bright light erupted from the object and engulfed the thing that had called itself Enlil. I watched with a feeling of relief as the creature and the sphere both disappeared. After all of that was done, I dropped to the floor and knelt before the goddess, who smiled and with her left hand touched my forehead. I noticed that I was wearing a long red gown, and that my skin was very light, with a slight greenish lint to it. My feet were bare, and I wore no jewelry. I had to dress more for comfort, in order to meditate, and that was what I had been doing at first when I arrived in this domain. I stretched my hands forward, and placed them on the goddess's feet. She giggled in a childlike manner before caressing my face lovingly. She said unto me, her voice soft and filled with compassion for all living things: “My name is Enitharmon. I do not so give it lightly, but to you do I give it all the same.” And after that, she undid her hair and allowed its' black raven tresses to cascade down her back like a beautiful ebony curtain. “Do you fine me beautiful?” she then asked me, and I replied that indeed I did. She then asked of me: “Would you wish for me to take you off unto my heavenly paradise?” to which I said in response, my lip quivering a bit as I did so: “I would, if you find me worthy.” She laughed even more childish in manner than she had previously, and declared: “That would be an expensive journey.” and I was not certain if she was jesting or if she was being serious. I noticed that everything going on all around me, whether it pertained to the children or musicians, seemed to be of so little importance now.
Suddenly, the youthful goddess pulled me to my feet and brought me along with her... as the world all around us shifted, altered, and transformed itself into various scenes. All at once we were walking hand in hand through the streets of a city called Nalin. We passed by crowds of various peoples... some were smiling, others frowning, some walking slowly, and others running quickly. As if time meant different things to each person! They vanished into shimmering portals of light in various colors that opened up, only to close again and vanish from sight once enough people had passed through. The city was totally different from when I had left it. But I could not remember ever having been here before! And yet I had a memory of it within me all the same. We seemed to pass through the same streets multiple times ere we had begun to make any sort of noticeable progress on our stroll through it. All of a sudden, we too passed through a portal, and emerged into a magnificent palace. There were several rooms, each filled with statues of beautiful women. The floor was pink marble, the stucco walls were white. Tall columns and ornate pedestals decorated the main hallway. Upon each pedestal was a globe, and each globe had the look of a planet. Only one looked like Earth. The ceiling was covered in murals depicting pleasant blue skies with perfect white clouds. Birds soared in those skies, and so real were the murals that I had to look twice just to be certain that they were indeed painted to look they way they did. We walked past a comfortable looking couch covered in soft white and pink cushions. The windows were all tinted with white and pink stained glass in abstract patterns. The goddess bade me sit and we both sat down upon the couch. Enitharmon then began to stroke my cheek, while singing to me, a song about nature and of the beauty of trees, forests, mountains and valleys. I was crying, but I knew not why. She dried my tears and bade me weep no more. I sang along with the goddess after that. She smiled and put her hand over mine, pressed her lips against my own, and kissed me. I noticed a stuffed bear was also upon the couch and I gave it to the goddess, who smiled and gave it to me to keep. “You are the child here, not I!” she exclaimed in a loving, motherly tone of voice. She then opened her mouth, as if about to say something further but instead stared at me deeply, as if seeing into my very soul. I held the bear in my left arm, as the goddess put my right hand upon her lap. She shook her head just then, and brought my hand up to her lips so that she could kiss it. I could suddenly detect the scent of flower blossoms, and it felt just as familiar to me as the city of Nalin had. The goddess took off her gloves, and sat them beside her on the couch. I asked the goddess if this was the most sacred of all places, and she did not answer me on that.
She then stood up and took me by the hand into the inner sanctum of the palace. It was a very large, round room with a high domed ceiling which was covered in a mural depicting the canopy of a lovely forest with sunlight shining through the treetops. The walls were carved from pink and white marble, and beautiful potted plants decorated the chamber in various places. Various paintings hung upon the walls, but they were of something different every time I looked at them. In the center of the chamber was a great white tree that glowed faintly. At the base of the tree was a desk upon which were various scrolls and books. The goddess picked up a staff that lay upon the floor next to the desk, regarded it somewhat curiously, and then set it down again. She picked up one of the books after that, and held it in her hands. A servant dressed in hooded sky blue robes was busy sweeping the floor off to the side. The goddess turned to me, and then began to read the contents of the book that she was holding, her graceful fingers turning each page as she went through it. One phrase that seemed to often repeat, was the phrase: “You have chosen to serve me. You will never forget this.” She then handed me the book to read for myself, and she said unto me: “I was once a mortal girl who was born in the village known as Rasik. My parents died in childbirth, leaving me alone in the world. I grew up there, learning all that I could about life and death.” I asked her to tell me more, and she told me a very strange tale about how she was adopted by a necromancer who raised her as his own daughter. But she stopped aging after she reached her fifteenth year, and so her curiosity about life and death became a bit of an insistent drive.
Once... she had seen a young girl die in front of her, as she was out picking herbs in the forest for the necromancer. She brought him to see the dead girl for himself, and he told her that she had perished of a disease her called “The Crimson Plague”. In that hour, she decided to become a healer rather than a necromancer herself. She taught all of the knowledge that she eventually learned unto others, and as the years went on she became regarded as a worker of miracles. Eventually, people took to worshiping her as a living goddess. “Yet, am I not?” she asked, and I said to her that, truly, she was indeed a divinity. She then took the book from me and placed it back upon the desk once more. Once the book was put back, she pointed to the white tree and said: “This is the place where the gods live.” I asked her to tell me more, and she instead stated that she would show me something profound. She took me through a new glowing portal that appeared behind the tree, this one brighter than all of the others had been prior. We passed through it, and entered a small house made of stone. The house was unfurnished, and empty save for a large wooden door. An image of a figure wearing a crown was etched in gold upon the door. The goddess pointed to that door. “What is behind that door?” I inquired of her, and she smiled widely. She then whispered: “Behind this door is a secret garden. Here the gods sleep.” I opened the door, and looked inside the room beyond. There was simply a second room containing a small child's sized bed, a table filled with beautiful purple flowers, and a rug upon the floor that was pink and white in color but otherwise not overtly decorated. Upon one of the walls was a painting of two very androgynous looking people kissing. I wondered where the garden was that the goddess had told me about. I wished to see it.
The goddess then bade me to inhale the fragrance of the flowers, and I closed my eyes to do so. When my eyes opened, I was walked through the garden with the goddess leading me by the hand. I held the stuffed bear in my other arm as we walked along. The garden was very large... and all around it was a high white wall topped by brambles so that no one could climb over it. All of the trees were beautiful cherry blossom trees, with either white or pink blossoms. The petals drifted about in the gentle breeze that blew through the garden as we passed by flowers of every description and shrubs of rich green... immaculately trimmed hedges in the shapes of every kind of animal, and also we passed by plants of all manner of sort and type. There were serene pools, gentle streams, and slender bridges we crossed over. In the heart of the garden there was a huge fountain which was not anything too remarkable to look on. But all around it were various statues of men and women wearing long, flowing gowns. Some of them seemed to be smiling at us, others frowning, their expressions frozen in time... and uncannily realistic.
Enitharmon explained to me that all of those statues were indeed the gods, or at least a manifestation of them that was unique to this garden. They appeared to be frozen because time had no meaning there, and only love held sway over the domain in which the garden lay. People did not come to that place to seek the gods, they came to learn about the truth of love. “Can the gods not teach people of love?” I so asked, to which the goddess replied: “Only some may, and I am one of those. None of those who seem to slumber here may teach aught of love, for they know nothing of it themselves. Selfish they were, so selfish they are! And, in their selfishness, they will not be moved either by compassion or by pity. In their arrogance they remain, and so they remain apart. That is why they appear in these stone shapes.” For to live forever is not always to be wise or good, and so I was glad to be in this goddess's company. She then pushed over one of the statues, which knocked into the next until they had all fallen over like a circle of dominoes. Upon doing this, there was a tremendous cacophony of screams and shouts as if the frozen gods were crying out in protest to being treated thus. The great goddess who had done this, then turned to me and smiled mischievously. “I love you!” she exclaimed to me, before embracing me and kissing me passionately. She then took me by the hand and we walked out of the garden together by way of its' front gate. As soon as we passed through it, the gate filled with a red energy, a fiery barrier.
The goddess Enitharmon took me down a path that led across a great wasteland, with dead trees and dried, brittle looking grasslands. Only rocks and rubble seemed to be of any great abundance in that sad and forsaken land. Upon a hilltop overlooking the region there sat an old building which resembled at first a great columned temple... but which instead seemed to be a magnificent mansion with a classical design to it. Its' metal doors were wide open, and the goddess seemed in a hurry to get me to go inside. We entered the ancient looking structure, and immediately I was led to the stairs leading down into the basement. The air was cooler there, than the humid air of the wasteland (although the garden had been pleasant enough, equivalent to a lovely spring day). And, there was a musty odor that hung about that underground area which I was not fond of in the least. Within that part of the mansion, there was a row of several rooms off of a long dimly lit hallway with torches in sconces upon the walls that were not in any number numerous enough for the place to be considered well illuminated. One of those rooms had been empty, and another contained a mannequin wearing a robe and holding a dagger by its' throat, its' lifeless eyes staring straight ahead. We had stopped there for a bit, but I found that room disconcerting.
Suddenly, the goddess took the dagger from the mannequin and stabbed it through the area where its' heart would be had it been a living thing. The mannequin screamed audibly, then fell backwards unto the floor with a clatter. The goddess ran over to it and knelt beside it, whispering something to it until the screaming ceased. She then closed its' eyes, which shut as though they had been real eyes after all. Then, she stated calmly: “I must kill the mannequin again.” and she took the dagger out of the place in which it had been lodged. She drew her left hand's index finger along the knife's sharp blade, and then coated it in her own blood. Having done this, she drew it across the mannequin's neck, creating a real wound that spurted blood out from it until it had splattered all over the floor beneath the lifeless effigy. The goddess stood back, her own garments stained with blood now, watching as the mannequin died a second death, its' new screams even more pitiful to hear than those which it uttered when it died firstly.
I then watched in horror as the young goddess drank the blood from the mannequin's neck wound. So much of it did she drink, that she had to spit some of it out. She cupped her hands and scooped up a bit of a large amount of the scarlet nectar, and then poured it unto the floor. She traced an inverted pentacle on the floor using that blood which she had just spilled, and then told me to stand within it, which I did. After that was done... she grabbed my arm and pulled me close to her, just outside the pentacle. My arm felt like it was burning, where she gripped it. She then kissed me, reached down to collect more blood from the mannequin, and bade me drink it from her hands. I obeyed this dark request, even as I began to wonder why a goddess who spoke of love would want me to drink of blood. And yet, it was not blood from any living thing... and so reminding myself, I was not afraid any longer. I swallowed the red fluid. No sooner had I done this, than I fell unto the floor, feeling very nauseous. The nausea passed, and as it did I saw that the goddess was gone. I heard a noise and spun around to face the door. A terrible beast, was standing in the doorway of the room. It had a shaggy body like a monstrous buffalo... with a head like a vulture out of which a long tongue protruded. It stood there staring at me, but not doing anything. I noticed that the bloody dagger lay discarded upon the floor... so I grabbed it and quickly stabbed at the nightmarish creature with it. The monster cried out and dropped to the floor. The dagger turned into a black-bladed long sword with a blood-red hilt the crosspiece of which was decorated with black and red gemstones. I ran towards the horror again, and stabbed the beast through the neck with the sword which caused the monster to perish almost instantaneously. There was a loud, unnatural sounding scream, but it did not seem to come from any specific direction. I rushed back to the pentagram, took a moment to catch my breath, and closed my eye. A voice cried out from no place in particular: “Run! Begin running and do not look back. I, will be waiting for you... but you need to survive this ordeal, so we can meet.”
I ran out of the room, as fast as I could, and into another room farther down the hallway. Within it, I saw a throne made of wood. I climbed upon the throne and sat upon it, allowing my eyes to close. Then as I opened them, I saw another figure superimposing itself over me, a spectral figure. I jumped out of the throne and turned around to see a ghostly, shadowy being sitting upon the throne exactly where my own body had been sitting only moments previous. The being became more solid, and it wore a black hooded robe, clutching a wooden staff in its' hands. Nothing of its' facial features could be seen under the folds of the hood, but I could tell that the being was staring at me intently. I smiled and nodded, in an attempt to greet the apparition. It nodded back at me, and then beckoned for me to follow where it wished to lead me. I agreed to do so, and he (for it was a man, or had been once) led me through a very elaborate serious of corridors which contained statues of naked men and women which had no mouths and no genitals. We passed a number of stone doors, all of them open and leading into other hallways. On both sides of each door was an image... on the outside was an image of a naked woman and on the inside was an image of a naked man. Both images bore wings like unto angels. I felt a sense of despair, and noticed that at some point I had lost the stuffed bear I had held previously. Likewise, the sword I had previously used to fight the vulture buffalo was gone. Yet in both cases, I had not dropped either of these things! They simply had vanished. I thought that I was going to cry, but I stifled the urge to do so.
I asked the man in black where I could find the goddess once more, for I missed her very painfully... and he told me that the goddess Enitharmon resides in the city of Nalin. I asked how I could return to that city, and he said that I needed not do so because the goddess could be found anywhere. I thanked him for his honesty, for I sensed that he spoke truth, and continued walking further down the corridor. I came to a large stone archway soon enough, and there was a hole in the middle of it. The hole had the look of a small black portal, and I wondered what lay beyond it and what creature was small enough to pass through such a passage. I imagined being able to enter that black, dark hole... and suddenly, I was drawn on through it, arriving once again back at the garden where the fallen statues of the gods lay. But now the flowers had all withered and died, the grass was brown and wilted... and, I totally realized that something terrible had happened to this once heavenly place. The sky was dark and filled with clouds, with thunder and lightning in great quantities all across the heavens. I cried out the sacred name of the goddess, and suddenly she was at my side, looking at me and smiling. She took my hand and kissed it, as I gasped in surprise when she hugged me tightly. We shared a warm embrace, laughing and crying together. At the last, we shared a deep, passionate kiss. “Do not think of the desolation!” she cautioned me. “Think only of me, and all will be well.” I asked the goddess if she could restore the garden. She nodded, and then seemed to vanish as the sun broke through the clouds high above our heads. The soil wherever the sun touched was scorched, and there was a thick mist forming close to the ground. I found myself sighing, with a horrible melancholy coming over me. I called the goddess's name, exactly as I had when she appeared before. She appeared at my side again, and smiled knowingly. “I told you that you should not think about the desolation, only about me.” she explained. I nodded my head agreeably. “This is an eternal place.” she told me, adding: “Life will return here when it is ready to do so. In the meantime, we should go someplace that is less depressing to be in. Let me lead you, to such a place!”
In that precise instance, a pair of black wings seemingly made of shadow itself emerged form out my back. I flew into the heavens high above the garden, and reached a very chaotic place that seemed to be between many worlds, with pieces of various realities appearing and disappearing. One piece seemed to be more solid than the rest, and so I ventured there. The goddess was there, but now she looked a great deal younger, being about eleven years old although dressed much the same as she had been previously. Her raven black hair was cut into a cute looking shoulder length bob style, with neatly trimmed bangs.
The child goddess was sitting on a chair, and her eyes were closed. She was smiling happily. I waved at her and called out to her... she opened her eyes, and waved back. We looked at each other for a long time, before she shouted: “Remember all I had told you about love!” and I did recall each lesson, for all of these bizarre adventures had been teaching me various secrets and truths. I said unto her: “I chose to serve you, did I not? I shall never forget all of this.” and those had been the words written in that book, back in the goddess's inner sanctum... the ones that repeated in its' pages most often. “To be true, love must sometimes me blind.” the little girl explained to me next, stating: “You must see with the eyes of your heart, rather than with the eyes of your body alone. What do I look like to you, right now?” I said in reply to her question: “Like a little girl of eleven years, more or less.” She shook her head, and rather irritated in tone proclaimed: “You are not looking with your heart! Look at me with your heart, and then answer me after that. But do not use your mind... use your feelings.” I looked at her again, and saw her exactly as she had been when I first encountered her. Her form changed to match that, and she was very pleased. She then said, mysteriously: “Ah! But which is the real me? The teenage me that you desire, or the new me that has the appearance of a little girl of eleven years! Can you tell the difference so easy?”
I confessed that I did not know. The goddess then walked over to me, kissed me once more, and bade me to close my eyes. I did so, lost in the warmth of her kiss. “Now open them!” she demanded, and as I did so she was a child again, only eleven years old. There was no difference to her spirit either way, she was still herself in either form. She sensed that I realized this, and said comfortingly: “You are starting to understand now, the true nature of love... as only truly divine beings know it. Not like the lowly gods and not like those humans whose minds are not open to higher things. You are knowing things as I do!” She then smiled and nodded in the affirmative. She asked me a series of questions after that, about all manner of profound and personal things. I answered each and every question truthfully. She seemed to be quite ecstatically pleased by my answers, as she was clapping her hands and jumping up and down in an excited manner. We laughed together, my own laughter feeling almost uncontrollable. She exuded a veritable aura of joy, and it felt like being adrift in a sea of comfort and knowing nothing of awful pain. I gazed deeply into Enitharmon's eyes, and was absorbed by their inner light. I felt myself being drawn into their depths, enveloped by their beauty. I could not help but weep tears of joy. I tried to stop those tears from falling, but I could not. My body felt warm and relaxed, as if I were liberated from all cares.
It was in that moment of bliss that the girl who was a goddess... the goddess who was a girl... took me to some astral plane on the very edges of known existence. We walked along the floors of a large room, one that was filled with candles and incense. There was a man in a black, hooded robe kneeling over a small altar covered with books. He held a candle to his hidden face, and was chanting. Several children all stood behind him, all little girls wearing white dresses, their faces covered by veils of the same hue. They seemed happy and cheerful while the man seemed solemn and absorbed totally in his mystic rites, and as he chanted in a deep, guttural voice they sang in light and melodic tones. Such was the power of their music, that I was almost able to ignore the sinister sounding chant of the man. Off to one side of the chamber, there was a small dining area with a large table and several chairs set out. A woman sat at one end of the table. She had long wavy golden blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and was dressed in a long black skirt paired with a loose fitting black peasant style blouse with long, billowing sleeves. Her feet were bare, and the only makeup she wore was blood red lipstick. Her skin was dark brown, and she had a welcoming smile that played upon her gentle looking face. She noticed me and motioned for me to come over to join her at the table. The goddess and I did as she bade... with Enitharmon choosing to sit right next to me, her hand upon my thigh. “So, what have you learned this day?” the blonde woman inquired of me... and, I told her all that had transpired during the course of all of these surreal journeys.
The woman in black seemed pleased with my report... and, confided in me that she was the mother of the children who were singing. “But not the mother of your divine companion.” she explained, referring to the child goddess who sat devotedly at my side. She mentioned that her own mother once so dwelt in that place on the fringes of eternity, but that she had moved on a long time ago. “To where?” I inquired, and the woman replied: “Wherever it is that people go to from here. One day... I must depart similarly.” The goddess then asked the woman to tell me her name. The blonde woman then did as she was bidden, and told me: “My name is Nalia. My father passed away even before my mother left, and aside from the children and the man in black I have no friends in this realm.” but the goddess correctly her, saying in a sad tone of voice: “I, am your friend, Nalia.” But this did not cheer the woman, who insisted: “That is not the same thing though... you are a divine being, and I am whatever it is that I have become during my time here. And I have been here long!” and I noticed that as Nalia said this, she appeared very sad. The child goddess stood up from her chair, walked over to the woman and said to her in a concerned manner: “You are weary is all... try to relax, and not worry so much about the past. Why not go out to the recreation chambers for a while? That should cheer you at least a little.” Nalia nodded and excused herself from the table, walked off toward a nearby doorway. She had been frowning and seemed a lot more melancholy than she had let on. “She will heal in time.” the goddess explained to me, but did not elaborate any further beyond that. “There are many more lost souls in this place, like her.” she added.
The girls that were singing then all at once removed their veils from their faces. The man in black had cried out suddenly, seeming to be in agonizing pain. He dropped the candle he had been holding, which sputtered out as it hit the floor, only moments before he too dropped... unable to rise from where he lay. The girls then all smiled in a very sinister way... before leaving the room by the same door their mother had only moments before. The man in black lay as a corpse might, neither breathing nor making even a single motion to indicate that he still lived. “Is he dead now?” I asked the goddess, who answered: “He was already thus, but now he has merely ceased to be animate any longer. The ones who had made him walk again, also had the power to make him cease, which they have now done. It is better this way, he was an unwilling servant to them at best! They will find another plaything though, for they always do.” The goddess then led me through a different door behind the area where we had emerged into this room for the first time. The new room was extremely elegant and filled with rich decoration, in stark contrast to the previous chamber which had rough stone walls, and which had been somewhat dark. There were all manner of shelves, filled with various small statues, figurines, gemstones, and books. The room had tall windows on every other wall, which were adorned with soft silken scarlet colored curtains that were open to allow light in. Outside of those windows, I could see a beautiful, pristine countryside of rolling green hills and lush grasslands... above which lay the most perfect blue skies, with only a few delicate white clouds to remark upon. There was a large, comfortable looking bed in the middle of the room. On top of the bed sat a young boy with short auburn hair cut in a pageboy style. He had very peculiar sharp teeth, but otherwise beautiful features that were utterly angelic. He wore a very feminine style jumpsuit which had wide, palazzo style legs and short puffy sleeves. The garment was scarlet in color, with gold floral designs on it. His feet were bare, and he held a book in his hands, which he was reading silently, his hazel colored eyes looking dreamy but intense. At first, I had taken him to be a girl but the goddess whispered to me: “This is the Scarlet Prince. He never speaks, and mostly just keeps to himself.” and I saw the boy turn around to regard me with a smile and a nod before turning back to reading his book a bit more. At most, he had to be about ten or eleven years old, but he had a sense of maturity to him that I could not easily explain. “Does he have a name?” I inquired... and Enitharmon explained: “None that he has ever divulged to anyone.” I climbed unto the bed and sat next to the boy, whose smile widened. He had very full lips that were decorated with some kind of lipstick the color of a moist pomegranate.
I knew at once that his was the voice I kept hearing ever since I had been meditating at the temple on the high plateau... now, seemingly ages ago. “We, have been waiting for you, my sister and I.” the boy said in my mind rather than speaking the words aloud. “Enitharmon does not know we are siblings, but we are... even if we do not appear to be. Her memories are incomplete... but mine are exact.” This was a beautiful voice, I realized, with light and lilting tones and a soothing manner to it. I leaned in towards him very closely, and I whispered: “Why did you bring me here?” He put the book aside, looked deeply into my eyes, and licked his lips before saying... this time out loud... “I am a being of love and passion, whom mankind has forgotten about. Thus am I lonely, and I could sense that often you are likewise. In bringing you here, to me, I hoped to teach you many things and in the end... well, we shall simply see.” His skin, I noticed... just like Enitharmon's skin... was of an olive tone. Both had freckled faces, but in the case of the boy he was less “perfect” looking than his sister, and perhaps more perfect because of that. The boy leaned in towards me and wrapped his arms around me in a warm embrace. He looked up at me, and I found myself returning his embrace. “My name is Urthona.” he confided, adding: “I never give it lightly, just as I never speak aloud for no reason. Both, I have chosen to do... and both, for you!”
All that time, the child goddess stood near the doorway of the room smiling in a way that said she had completed some important task. I glanced over at her... and then back at the boy named Urthona. “What can you teach me, that your sister has not?” I asked of him, and he stroked my face gently with his right hand, which caused a very pleasant tingling sensation as he did so. He responded: “Many things!” and I let myself surrender to his teachings, finding myself wholly unable to refuse. He laid back on the be, as he bid me to lie next to him, and we looked up at the ceiling as he whispered to me: “From my sister... you have learned that love needs to be blind in order to be sincere and true. From me, I wish for you to see that love knows nothing of gender. Do you find me beautiful?” to which I replied: “I cannot deny, I find you indescribably beautiful. But your age...” and he responded to that with: “Is irrelevant here. The limits of age in regard to love is a modern construction that was not present in ancient times. Nor is it at all present in this, my domain. Here, your only limits are those you choose to impose upon yourself.” to which I asked: “Are you trying to seduce me, Urthona?” and he smiled naughtily but did not choose to reply to that question. He changed his form into a boy in his late teens, his face as smooth and hairless as it had been when he was little. I saw by his bare arms... that his body was likewise smooth. “Is this a bit more to your preference, then?” I told him that it would be a great deal less awkward this way. Such feminine beauty he possessed, and even more so now it seemed to me! He climbed atop me and rubbed my chest with his hands... the tingling feeling highly pleasurable, at this point. Every so often he would kiss me passionately and then resume his caresses... which he bestowed to me in many places that I did find enjoyable to experience. I pulled him down atop me, and we locked in a lover's embrace, my heart racing as I let my hands run all over his body now. “I want you... I have always wanted you.” I said to the boy, who said to me: “And I, you!” while I began to undo the buttons on the front of his jumpsuit. I had already taken off my gown. We made love after that... and it did not matter to us that we shared the same gender... gender itself did not matter to us. All that mattered was the passion of the moment, and the deeply profound love within our hearts. But how could that be? I had only just met him! “You will remember in time.” the boy whispered during the heights of our shared passion. Once we had slaked the thirst and hunger in our hearts for each other's love... we lay together upon the bed, naked and between the boundaries of wakefulness and slumber. There was a mirror on one of the walls and in it I saw that I too was in a teenage body now. I was taller than my lover, and perhaps older... but we were a bit closer in age than I had expected, thinking at first that my body in these realms was that of an adult. I did not see where Enitharmon went, for she had gone someplace. I closed my eyes, and surrendered to sleep at last, awakening from these unusual dreams feeling as if I had just lived through their events physically.
Being a faithful relating of a spiritual vision within a dream I had on the night of May 27th, 2022...
As I listened to the sound of the spring breeze blowing through the trees outside my bedroom window amid the sound of children playing down one of the neighboring streets, I felt myself suddenly drawn to a distant place and time which did not appear to be apparent. I was in an androgynous body with a kind of appearance and form that made the gender seem indistinct and unreadable. I was meditating within a temple high on a plateau beneath a lavender colored sky. It was late in the day, near dusk, and there was incense burning which had the scent of dragon's blood to it. There was music playing somewhere, and a young girl was singing to the sounds of harp and flute very angelically. I was seeking something farther than enlightenment and deeper than a spiritual awakening. I had already experienced those long ago but now there was something else, something unusual that called my spirit hither. I gazed out of a window, and outside of my chambers I could see three moons rising in the skies above a distant mountain range where five peaks could be seen rising above the cloud line. The mountains were so far away that they almost seemed like an abstraction of sorts. The clouds seemed to stretch endlessly in every direction... but yet they all seemed to be connected somehow. Perhaps this was because the mountains themselves seemed to be made up of clouds, or so did a trick of perception nearly lead me to believe! The walls of my chamber had an unusual fractal-like pattern upon them, and immediately I knew the place was alien.
My eyes closed, and I was focusing on the stars that lay beyond the skies. The stars had guided people of all sorts since long before I was born... and they will continue to guide them until the end of time. I will never forget the stars, and I could hear a voice telling me: “And I shall never forget you.” But the stars did not speak thus, for they were not there to help me, nor tell me what I should be doing. It was the voice that spoke and rang forth... but that voice could only have come from something living in a more traditional sense. I prayed unto that voice, to speak to me again... and if it was of a divine being then I was hopeful to gain that being's favor. But it was silent, and so I decided upon a different course. I walked downstairs, through all the halls of the main temple, and made my way out into the courtyard. There, the voices of many children sang aloud. There was a beautiful fountain there, which had the look of a very young girl with the wings of an angel. Her arms were raised above her head, holding a globe that was violet in hue, and her wings were outstretched. Water cascaded forth from the globe, down into the fountain around which the children were gathered in a circle, singing. In one of the corners of the courtyard, the musicians were playing their instruments. It was a very peaceful and serene place. The children sang about dragons and fairies, of monsters and goblins, of trolls and giants. Of wizards and witches, and of brave knights, bold soldiers and valiant men and women. Songs of legend and lore.
I began to sing along with the children as the voice called out again: “We have come too far, for them to take us away from you.” and I found myself answering the voice, saying: “You will be safe, I am of a certainty about that!” to which the voice replied: “Tell us then, when we shall meet, never to part ways again?” and I could not answer that, for I did not know who was speaking to me. The children's eyes lit up as they all joined in the song again, with the adults looking on with smiles and laughter. No one had seemed to notice the voice that spoke to me, nor how I answered it. The music ceased, along with all of the singing. It was then I noticed that I was not standing in the courtyard by myself. “Who is that which I sense at my side?” I inquired aloud, to which one of the children replied: “It is Enlil, a divinity of both wisdom and magic. He stands beside you, but his gaze seems preoccupied, as if he sees you not!” and I turned to where the man was standing, in order to see what it was that god wished of me. But his form was shadowy looking and vague, something I could not discern fully. I could sense hatred and malice.
But, he did not answer me. Instead... he turned his attention towards the children, who could see him more visibly than I could. The boys and girls were all of various ages and races, but they all wore very beautiful, flowing white gowns that seemed to sparkle as they moved about. Their feet were bare, and their hair was long and flowing no matter the gender. They almost seemed like angels, and yet they had a physical form. I had not given much thought to what my own appearance may have been, for I was all too absorbed by the events transpiring around me. I commanded that Enlik stay away from the children. He responded by staring at me intently. The then walked slowly forward until he sat on the ground next to me before standing up again, putting a hand against my shoulder. With his other hand, he placed the palm upon my chest. He then began stroking my hair, which appeared to be long, flowing and of a very pale shade of platinum blonde. I pushed the god away from me, and his shadowy face seemed to then smirk. He whispered something to me, but I could not understand even a word of what he was saying.
I cried out to any god or goddess, that could deliver me from that shadowy being... which I suspected was not truly the god Enlil at all, but rather some demonic entity attempting to masquerade as him. All of a sudden, an unusually beautiful teenage girl appeared before everyone in the courtyard. She had the sort of features that someone might call too perfect to be real, and yet she was real! She was wearing a flowing blue dress that reached to her knees, and her arms were covered by long white gloves. She held a small golden sphere between her fingers. Her hair was worn up in an elaborate coiffure, her eyes were totally white, and her feet were shod in a pair of silver sandals. She seemed to have a subtle glow about her, and that made the shadow being tremble in fear. I was happy to see the creature becoming fearful! The goddess, for that is what she was, said to the shadow creature: “Do you wish to do malice here in this place?” and the thing said: “Yes!” to which she responded: “Then do so.” and the evil being stated in answer to that: “But... but... but...” as the goddess exclaimed: “No! You cannot stop me. At best, you may only delay your death for a bit longer. You must accept banishment from this place... or, thus die.” And I could see that the children were frightened, knowing not what was going to happen to them at all.
I then sprang forward, a sword of light suddenly within my right hand. The goddess stepped back as if surprised by my action. I regarded the shadow demon with menace, afraid of it no longer. But before I could swing the weapon towards the evil thing, the goddess nodded her head and pointed to the sphere she held in her left hand, which she raised high above her head. She threw it at the demon with all of her might, and as it struck the creature a bright light erupted from the object and engulfed the thing that had called itself Enlil. I watched with a feeling of relief as the creature and the sphere both disappeared. After all of that was done, I dropped to the floor and knelt before the goddess, who smiled and with her left hand touched my forehead. I noticed that I was wearing a long red gown, and that my skin was very light, with a slight greenish lint to it. My feet were bare, and I wore no jewelry. I had to dress more for comfort, in order to meditate, and that was what I had been doing at first when I arrived in this domain. I stretched my hands forward, and placed them on the goddess's feet. She giggled in a childlike manner before caressing my face lovingly. She said unto me, her voice soft and filled with compassion for all living things: “My name is Enitharmon. I do not so give it lightly, but to you do I give it all the same.” And after that, she undid her hair and allowed its' black raven tresses to cascade down her back like a beautiful ebony curtain. “Do you fine me beautiful?” she then asked me, and I replied that indeed I did. She then asked of me: “Would you wish for me to take you off unto my heavenly paradise?” to which I said in response, my lip quivering a bit as I did so: “I would, if you find me worthy.” She laughed even more childish in manner than she had previously, and declared: “That would be an expensive journey.” and I was not certain if she was jesting or if she was being serious. I noticed that everything going on all around me, whether it pertained to the children or musicians, seemed to be of so little importance now.
Suddenly, the youthful goddess pulled me to my feet and brought me along with her... as the world all around us shifted, altered, and transformed itself into various scenes. All at once we were walking hand in hand through the streets of a city called Nalin. We passed by crowds of various peoples... some were smiling, others frowning, some walking slowly, and others running quickly. As if time meant different things to each person! They vanished into shimmering portals of light in various colors that opened up, only to close again and vanish from sight once enough people had passed through. The city was totally different from when I had left it. But I could not remember ever having been here before! And yet I had a memory of it within me all the same. We seemed to pass through the same streets multiple times ere we had begun to make any sort of noticeable progress on our stroll through it. All of a sudden, we too passed through a portal, and emerged into a magnificent palace. There were several rooms, each filled with statues of beautiful women. The floor was pink marble, the stucco walls were white. Tall columns and ornate pedestals decorated the main hallway. Upon each pedestal was a globe, and each globe had the look of a planet. Only one looked like Earth. The ceiling was covered in murals depicting pleasant blue skies with perfect white clouds. Birds soared in those skies, and so real were the murals that I had to look twice just to be certain that they were indeed painted to look they way they did. We walked past a comfortable looking couch covered in soft white and pink cushions. The windows were all tinted with white and pink stained glass in abstract patterns. The goddess bade me sit and we both sat down upon the couch. Enitharmon then began to stroke my cheek, while singing to me, a song about nature and of the beauty of trees, forests, mountains and valleys. I was crying, but I knew not why. She dried my tears and bade me weep no more. I sang along with the goddess after that. She smiled and put her hand over mine, pressed her lips against my own, and kissed me. I noticed a stuffed bear was also upon the couch and I gave it to the goddess, who smiled and gave it to me to keep. “You are the child here, not I!” she exclaimed in a loving, motherly tone of voice. She then opened her mouth, as if about to say something further but instead stared at me deeply, as if seeing into my very soul. I held the bear in my left arm, as the goddess put my right hand upon her lap. She shook her head just then, and brought my hand up to her lips so that she could kiss it. I could suddenly detect the scent of flower blossoms, and it felt just as familiar to me as the city of Nalin had. The goddess took off her gloves, and sat them beside her on the couch. I asked the goddess if this was the most sacred of all places, and she did not answer me on that.
She then stood up and took me by the hand into the inner sanctum of the palace. It was a very large, round room with a high domed ceiling which was covered in a mural depicting the canopy of a lovely forest with sunlight shining through the treetops. The walls were carved from pink and white marble, and beautiful potted plants decorated the chamber in various places. Various paintings hung upon the walls, but they were of something different every time I looked at them. In the center of the chamber was a great white tree that glowed faintly. At the base of the tree was a desk upon which were various scrolls and books. The goddess picked up a staff that lay upon the floor next to the desk, regarded it somewhat curiously, and then set it down again. She picked up one of the books after that, and held it in her hands. A servant dressed in hooded sky blue robes was busy sweeping the floor off to the side. The goddess turned to me, and then began to read the contents of the book that she was holding, her graceful fingers turning each page as she went through it. One phrase that seemed to often repeat, was the phrase: “You have chosen to serve me. You will never forget this.” She then handed me the book to read for myself, and she said unto me: “I was once a mortal girl who was born in the village known as Rasik. My parents died in childbirth, leaving me alone in the world. I grew up there, learning all that I could about life and death.” I asked her to tell me more, and she told me a very strange tale about how she was adopted by a necromancer who raised her as his own daughter. But she stopped aging after she reached her fifteenth year, and so her curiosity about life and death became a bit of an insistent drive.
Once... she had seen a young girl die in front of her, as she was out picking herbs in the forest for the necromancer. She brought him to see the dead girl for himself, and he told her that she had perished of a disease her called “The Crimson Plague”. In that hour, she decided to become a healer rather than a necromancer herself. She taught all of the knowledge that she eventually learned unto others, and as the years went on she became regarded as a worker of miracles. Eventually, people took to worshiping her as a living goddess. “Yet, am I not?” she asked, and I said to her that, truly, she was indeed a divinity. She then took the book from me and placed it back upon the desk once more. Once the book was put back, she pointed to the white tree and said: “This is the place where the gods live.” I asked her to tell me more, and she instead stated that she would show me something profound. She took me through a new glowing portal that appeared behind the tree, this one brighter than all of the others had been prior. We passed through it, and entered a small house made of stone. The house was unfurnished, and empty save for a large wooden door. An image of a figure wearing a crown was etched in gold upon the door. The goddess pointed to that door. “What is behind that door?” I inquired of her, and she smiled widely. She then whispered: “Behind this door is a secret garden. Here the gods sleep.” I opened the door, and looked inside the room beyond. There was simply a second room containing a small child's sized bed, a table filled with beautiful purple flowers, and a rug upon the floor that was pink and white in color but otherwise not overtly decorated. Upon one of the walls was a painting of two very androgynous looking people kissing. I wondered where the garden was that the goddess had told me about. I wished to see it.
The goddess then bade me to inhale the fragrance of the flowers, and I closed my eyes to do so. When my eyes opened, I was walked through the garden with the goddess leading me by the hand. I held the stuffed bear in my other arm as we walked along. The garden was very large... and all around it was a high white wall topped by brambles so that no one could climb over it. All of the trees were beautiful cherry blossom trees, with either white or pink blossoms. The petals drifted about in the gentle breeze that blew through the garden as we passed by flowers of every description and shrubs of rich green... immaculately trimmed hedges in the shapes of every kind of animal, and also we passed by plants of all manner of sort and type. There were serene pools, gentle streams, and slender bridges we crossed over. In the heart of the garden there was a huge fountain which was not anything too remarkable to look on. But all around it were various statues of men and women wearing long, flowing gowns. Some of them seemed to be smiling at us, others frowning, their expressions frozen in time... and uncannily realistic.
Enitharmon explained to me that all of those statues were indeed the gods, or at least a manifestation of them that was unique to this garden. They appeared to be frozen because time had no meaning there, and only love held sway over the domain in which the garden lay. People did not come to that place to seek the gods, they came to learn about the truth of love. “Can the gods not teach people of love?” I so asked, to which the goddess replied: “Only some may, and I am one of those. None of those who seem to slumber here may teach aught of love, for they know nothing of it themselves. Selfish they were, so selfish they are! And, in their selfishness, they will not be moved either by compassion or by pity. In their arrogance they remain, and so they remain apart. That is why they appear in these stone shapes.” For to live forever is not always to be wise or good, and so I was glad to be in this goddess's company. She then pushed over one of the statues, which knocked into the next until they had all fallen over like a circle of dominoes. Upon doing this, there was a tremendous cacophony of screams and shouts as if the frozen gods were crying out in protest to being treated thus. The great goddess who had done this, then turned to me and smiled mischievously. “I love you!” she exclaimed to me, before embracing me and kissing me passionately. She then took me by the hand and we walked out of the garden together by way of its' front gate. As soon as we passed through it, the gate filled with a red energy, a fiery barrier.
The goddess Enitharmon took me down a path that led across a great wasteland, with dead trees and dried, brittle looking grasslands. Only rocks and rubble seemed to be of any great abundance in that sad and forsaken land. Upon a hilltop overlooking the region there sat an old building which resembled at first a great columned temple... but which instead seemed to be a magnificent mansion with a classical design to it. Its' metal doors were wide open, and the goddess seemed in a hurry to get me to go inside. We entered the ancient looking structure, and immediately I was led to the stairs leading down into the basement. The air was cooler there, than the humid air of the wasteland (although the garden had been pleasant enough, equivalent to a lovely spring day). And, there was a musty odor that hung about that underground area which I was not fond of in the least. Within that part of the mansion, there was a row of several rooms off of a long dimly lit hallway with torches in sconces upon the walls that were not in any number numerous enough for the place to be considered well illuminated. One of those rooms had been empty, and another contained a mannequin wearing a robe and holding a dagger by its' throat, its' lifeless eyes staring straight ahead. We had stopped there for a bit, but I found that room disconcerting.
Suddenly, the goddess took the dagger from the mannequin and stabbed it through the area where its' heart would be had it been a living thing. The mannequin screamed audibly, then fell backwards unto the floor with a clatter. The goddess ran over to it and knelt beside it, whispering something to it until the screaming ceased. She then closed its' eyes, which shut as though they had been real eyes after all. Then, she stated calmly: “I must kill the mannequin again.” and she took the dagger out of the place in which it had been lodged. She drew her left hand's index finger along the knife's sharp blade, and then coated it in her own blood. Having done this, she drew it across the mannequin's neck, creating a real wound that spurted blood out from it until it had splattered all over the floor beneath the lifeless effigy. The goddess stood back, her own garments stained with blood now, watching as the mannequin died a second death, its' new screams even more pitiful to hear than those which it uttered when it died firstly.
I then watched in horror as the young goddess drank the blood from the mannequin's neck wound. So much of it did she drink, that she had to spit some of it out. She cupped her hands and scooped up a bit of a large amount of the scarlet nectar, and then poured it unto the floor. She traced an inverted pentacle on the floor using that blood which she had just spilled, and then told me to stand within it, which I did. After that was done... she grabbed my arm and pulled me close to her, just outside the pentacle. My arm felt like it was burning, where she gripped it. She then kissed me, reached down to collect more blood from the mannequin, and bade me drink it from her hands. I obeyed this dark request, even as I began to wonder why a goddess who spoke of love would want me to drink of blood. And yet, it was not blood from any living thing... and so reminding myself, I was not afraid any longer. I swallowed the red fluid. No sooner had I done this, than I fell unto the floor, feeling very nauseous. The nausea passed, and as it did I saw that the goddess was gone. I heard a noise and spun around to face the door. A terrible beast, was standing in the doorway of the room. It had a shaggy body like a monstrous buffalo... with a head like a vulture out of which a long tongue protruded. It stood there staring at me, but not doing anything. I noticed that the bloody dagger lay discarded upon the floor... so I grabbed it and quickly stabbed at the nightmarish creature with it. The monster cried out and dropped to the floor. The dagger turned into a black-bladed long sword with a blood-red hilt the crosspiece of which was decorated with black and red gemstones. I ran towards the horror again, and stabbed the beast through the neck with the sword which caused the monster to perish almost instantaneously. There was a loud, unnatural sounding scream, but it did not seem to come from any specific direction. I rushed back to the pentagram, took a moment to catch my breath, and closed my eye. A voice cried out from no place in particular: “Run! Begin running and do not look back. I, will be waiting for you... but you need to survive this ordeal, so we can meet.”
I ran out of the room, as fast as I could, and into another room farther down the hallway. Within it, I saw a throne made of wood. I climbed upon the throne and sat upon it, allowing my eyes to close. Then as I opened them, I saw another figure superimposing itself over me, a spectral figure. I jumped out of the throne and turned around to see a ghostly, shadowy being sitting upon the throne exactly where my own body had been sitting only moments previous. The being became more solid, and it wore a black hooded robe, clutching a wooden staff in its' hands. Nothing of its' facial features could be seen under the folds of the hood, but I could tell that the being was staring at me intently. I smiled and nodded, in an attempt to greet the apparition. It nodded back at me, and then beckoned for me to follow where it wished to lead me. I agreed to do so, and he (for it was a man, or had been once) led me through a very elaborate serious of corridors which contained statues of naked men and women which had no mouths and no genitals. We passed a number of stone doors, all of them open and leading into other hallways. On both sides of each door was an image... on the outside was an image of a naked woman and on the inside was an image of a naked man. Both images bore wings like unto angels. I felt a sense of despair, and noticed that at some point I had lost the stuffed bear I had held previously. Likewise, the sword I had previously used to fight the vulture buffalo was gone. Yet in both cases, I had not dropped either of these things! They simply had vanished. I thought that I was going to cry, but I stifled the urge to do so.
I asked the man in black where I could find the goddess once more, for I missed her very painfully... and he told me that the goddess Enitharmon resides in the city of Nalin. I asked how I could return to that city, and he said that I needed not do so because the goddess could be found anywhere. I thanked him for his honesty, for I sensed that he spoke truth, and continued walking further down the corridor. I came to a large stone archway soon enough, and there was a hole in the middle of it. The hole had the look of a small black portal, and I wondered what lay beyond it and what creature was small enough to pass through such a passage. I imagined being able to enter that black, dark hole... and suddenly, I was drawn on through it, arriving once again back at the garden where the fallen statues of the gods lay. But now the flowers had all withered and died, the grass was brown and wilted... and, I totally realized that something terrible had happened to this once heavenly place. The sky was dark and filled with clouds, with thunder and lightning in great quantities all across the heavens. I cried out the sacred name of the goddess, and suddenly she was at my side, looking at me and smiling. She took my hand and kissed it, as I gasped in surprise when she hugged me tightly. We shared a warm embrace, laughing and crying together. At the last, we shared a deep, passionate kiss. “Do not think of the desolation!” she cautioned me. “Think only of me, and all will be well.” I asked the goddess if she could restore the garden. She nodded, and then seemed to vanish as the sun broke through the clouds high above our heads. The soil wherever the sun touched was scorched, and there was a thick mist forming close to the ground. I found myself sighing, with a horrible melancholy coming over me. I called the goddess's name, exactly as I had when she appeared before. She appeared at my side again, and smiled knowingly. “I told you that you should not think about the desolation, only about me.” she explained. I nodded my head agreeably. “This is an eternal place.” she told me, adding: “Life will return here when it is ready to do so. In the meantime, we should go someplace that is less depressing to be in. Let me lead you, to such a place!”
In that precise instance, a pair of black wings seemingly made of shadow itself emerged form out my back. I flew into the heavens high above the garden, and reached a very chaotic place that seemed to be between many worlds, with pieces of various realities appearing and disappearing. One piece seemed to be more solid than the rest, and so I ventured there. The goddess was there, but now she looked a great deal younger, being about eleven years old although dressed much the same as she had been previously. Her raven black hair was cut into a cute looking shoulder length bob style, with neatly trimmed bangs.
The child goddess was sitting on a chair, and her eyes were closed. She was smiling happily. I waved at her and called out to her... she opened her eyes, and waved back. We looked at each other for a long time, before she shouted: “Remember all I had told you about love!” and I did recall each lesson, for all of these bizarre adventures had been teaching me various secrets and truths. I said unto her: “I chose to serve you, did I not? I shall never forget all of this.” and those had been the words written in that book, back in the goddess's inner sanctum... the ones that repeated in its' pages most often. “To be true, love must sometimes me blind.” the little girl explained to me next, stating: “You must see with the eyes of your heart, rather than with the eyes of your body alone. What do I look like to you, right now?” I said in reply to her question: “Like a little girl of eleven years, more or less.” She shook her head, and rather irritated in tone proclaimed: “You are not looking with your heart! Look at me with your heart, and then answer me after that. But do not use your mind... use your feelings.” I looked at her again, and saw her exactly as she had been when I first encountered her. Her form changed to match that, and she was very pleased. She then said, mysteriously: “Ah! But which is the real me? The teenage me that you desire, or the new me that has the appearance of a little girl of eleven years! Can you tell the difference so easy?”
I confessed that I did not know. The goddess then walked over to me, kissed me once more, and bade me to close my eyes. I did so, lost in the warmth of her kiss. “Now open them!” she demanded, and as I did so she was a child again, only eleven years old. There was no difference to her spirit either way, she was still herself in either form. She sensed that I realized this, and said comfortingly: “You are starting to understand now, the true nature of love... as only truly divine beings know it. Not like the lowly gods and not like those humans whose minds are not open to higher things. You are knowing things as I do!” She then smiled and nodded in the affirmative. She asked me a series of questions after that, about all manner of profound and personal things. I answered each and every question truthfully. She seemed to be quite ecstatically pleased by my answers, as she was clapping her hands and jumping up and down in an excited manner. We laughed together, my own laughter feeling almost uncontrollable. She exuded a veritable aura of joy, and it felt like being adrift in a sea of comfort and knowing nothing of awful pain. I gazed deeply into Enitharmon's eyes, and was absorbed by their inner light. I felt myself being drawn into their depths, enveloped by their beauty. I could not help but weep tears of joy. I tried to stop those tears from falling, but I could not. My body felt warm and relaxed, as if I were liberated from all cares.
It was in that moment of bliss that the girl who was a goddess... the goddess who was a girl... took me to some astral plane on the very edges of known existence. We walked along the floors of a large room, one that was filled with candles and incense. There was a man in a black, hooded robe kneeling over a small altar covered with books. He held a candle to his hidden face, and was chanting. Several children all stood behind him, all little girls wearing white dresses, their faces covered by veils of the same hue. They seemed happy and cheerful while the man seemed solemn and absorbed totally in his mystic rites, and as he chanted in a deep, guttural voice they sang in light and melodic tones. Such was the power of their music, that I was almost able to ignore the sinister sounding chant of the man. Off to one side of the chamber, there was a small dining area with a large table and several chairs set out. A woman sat at one end of the table. She had long wavy golden blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, and was dressed in a long black skirt paired with a loose fitting black peasant style blouse with long, billowing sleeves. Her feet were bare, and the only makeup she wore was blood red lipstick. Her skin was dark brown, and she had a welcoming smile that played upon her gentle looking face. She noticed me and motioned for me to come over to join her at the table. The goddess and I did as she bade... with Enitharmon choosing to sit right next to me, her hand upon my thigh. “So, what have you learned this day?” the blonde woman inquired of me... and, I told her all that had transpired during the course of all of these surreal journeys.
The woman in black seemed pleased with my report... and, confided in me that she was the mother of the children who were singing. “But not the mother of your divine companion.” she explained, referring to the child goddess who sat devotedly at my side. She mentioned that her own mother once so dwelt in that place on the fringes of eternity, but that she had moved on a long time ago. “To where?” I inquired, and the woman replied: “Wherever it is that people go to from here. One day... I must depart similarly.” The goddess then asked the woman to tell me her name. The blonde woman then did as she was bidden, and told me: “My name is Nalia. My father passed away even before my mother left, and aside from the children and the man in black I have no friends in this realm.” but the goddess correctly her, saying in a sad tone of voice: “I, am your friend, Nalia.” But this did not cheer the woman, who insisted: “That is not the same thing though... you are a divine being, and I am whatever it is that I have become during my time here. And I have been here long!” and I noticed that as Nalia said this, she appeared very sad. The child goddess stood up from her chair, walked over to the woman and said to her in a concerned manner: “You are weary is all... try to relax, and not worry so much about the past. Why not go out to the recreation chambers for a while? That should cheer you at least a little.” Nalia nodded and excused herself from the table, walked off toward a nearby doorway. She had been frowning and seemed a lot more melancholy than she had let on. “She will heal in time.” the goddess explained to me, but did not elaborate any further beyond that. “There are many more lost souls in this place, like her.” she added.
The girls that were singing then all at once removed their veils from their faces. The man in black had cried out suddenly, seeming to be in agonizing pain. He dropped the candle he had been holding, which sputtered out as it hit the floor, only moments before he too dropped... unable to rise from where he lay. The girls then all smiled in a very sinister way... before leaving the room by the same door their mother had only moments before. The man in black lay as a corpse might, neither breathing nor making even a single motion to indicate that he still lived. “Is he dead now?” I asked the goddess, who answered: “He was already thus, but now he has merely ceased to be animate any longer. The ones who had made him walk again, also had the power to make him cease, which they have now done. It is better this way, he was an unwilling servant to them at best! They will find another plaything though, for they always do.” The goddess then led me through a different door behind the area where we had emerged into this room for the first time. The new room was extremely elegant and filled with rich decoration, in stark contrast to the previous chamber which had rough stone walls, and which had been somewhat dark. There were all manner of shelves, filled with various small statues, figurines, gemstones, and books. The room had tall windows on every other wall, which were adorned with soft silken scarlet colored curtains that were open to allow light in. Outside of those windows, I could see a beautiful, pristine countryside of rolling green hills and lush grasslands... above which lay the most perfect blue skies, with only a few delicate white clouds to remark upon. There was a large, comfortable looking bed in the middle of the room. On top of the bed sat a young boy with short auburn hair cut in a pageboy style. He had very peculiar sharp teeth, but otherwise beautiful features that were utterly angelic. He wore a very feminine style jumpsuit which had wide, palazzo style legs and short puffy sleeves. The garment was scarlet in color, with gold floral designs on it. His feet were bare, and he held a book in his hands, which he was reading silently, his hazel colored eyes looking dreamy but intense. At first, I had taken him to be a girl but the goddess whispered to me: “This is the Scarlet Prince. He never speaks, and mostly just keeps to himself.” and I saw the boy turn around to regard me with a smile and a nod before turning back to reading his book a bit more. At most, he had to be about ten or eleven years old, but he had a sense of maturity to him that I could not easily explain. “Does he have a name?” I inquired... and Enitharmon explained: “None that he has ever divulged to anyone.” I climbed unto the bed and sat next to the boy, whose smile widened. He had very full lips that were decorated with some kind of lipstick the color of a moist pomegranate.
I knew at once that his was the voice I kept hearing ever since I had been meditating at the temple on the high plateau... now, seemingly ages ago. “We, have been waiting for you, my sister and I.” the boy said in my mind rather than speaking the words aloud. “Enitharmon does not know we are siblings, but we are... even if we do not appear to be. Her memories are incomplete... but mine are exact.” This was a beautiful voice, I realized, with light and lilting tones and a soothing manner to it. I leaned in towards him very closely, and I whispered: “Why did you bring me here?” He put the book aside, looked deeply into my eyes, and licked his lips before saying... this time out loud... “I am a being of love and passion, whom mankind has forgotten about. Thus am I lonely, and I could sense that often you are likewise. In bringing you here, to me, I hoped to teach you many things and in the end... well, we shall simply see.” His skin, I noticed... just like Enitharmon's skin... was of an olive tone. Both had freckled faces, but in the case of the boy he was less “perfect” looking than his sister, and perhaps more perfect because of that. The boy leaned in towards me and wrapped his arms around me in a warm embrace. He looked up at me, and I found myself returning his embrace. “My name is Urthona.” he confided, adding: “I never give it lightly, just as I never speak aloud for no reason. Both, I have chosen to do... and both, for you!”
All that time, the child goddess stood near the doorway of the room smiling in a way that said she had completed some important task. I glanced over at her... and then back at the boy named Urthona. “What can you teach me, that your sister has not?” I asked of him, and he stroked my face gently with his right hand, which caused a very pleasant tingling sensation as he did so. He responded: “Many things!” and I let myself surrender to his teachings, finding myself wholly unable to refuse. He laid back on the be, as he bid me to lie next to him, and we looked up at the ceiling as he whispered to me: “From my sister... you have learned that love needs to be blind in order to be sincere and true. From me, I wish for you to see that love knows nothing of gender. Do you find me beautiful?” to which I replied: “I cannot deny, I find you indescribably beautiful. But your age...” and he responded to that with: “Is irrelevant here. The limits of age in regard to love is a modern construction that was not present in ancient times. Nor is it at all present in this, my domain. Here, your only limits are those you choose to impose upon yourself.” to which I asked: “Are you trying to seduce me, Urthona?” and he smiled naughtily but did not choose to reply to that question. He changed his form into a boy in his late teens, his face as smooth and hairless as it had been when he was little. I saw by his bare arms... that his body was likewise smooth. “Is this a bit more to your preference, then?” I told him that it would be a great deal less awkward this way. Such feminine beauty he possessed, and even more so now it seemed to me! He climbed atop me and rubbed my chest with his hands... the tingling feeling highly pleasurable, at this point. Every so often he would kiss me passionately and then resume his caresses... which he bestowed to me in many places that I did find enjoyable to experience. I pulled him down atop me, and we locked in a lover's embrace, my heart racing as I let my hands run all over his body now. “I want you... I have always wanted you.” I said to the boy, who said to me: “And I, you!” while I began to undo the buttons on the front of his jumpsuit. I had already taken off my gown. We made love after that... and it did not matter to us that we shared the same gender... gender itself did not matter to us. All that mattered was the passion of the moment, and the deeply profound love within our hearts. But how could that be? I had only just met him! “You will remember in time.” the boy whispered during the heights of our shared passion. Once we had slaked the thirst and hunger in our hearts for each other's love... we lay together upon the bed, naked and between the boundaries of wakefulness and slumber. There was a mirror on one of the walls and in it I saw that I too was in a teenage body now. I was taller than my lover, and perhaps older... but we were a bit closer in age than I had expected, thinking at first that my body in these realms was that of an adult. I did not see where Enitharmon went, for she had gone someplace. I closed my eyes, and surrendered to sleep at last, awakening from these unusual dreams feeling as if I had just lived through their events physically.
Published 31st May 2022
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