deepundergroundpoetry.com
Getting On
What kind of half baked
wimpy asshole
did you turn into
Scared of heights
afraid of water
You cant stand the sight
of your own blood
and it's getting harder
for you to remember
where you left your car
Maybe it's better
you don't drive at all
If you do ever find
your front door keys
and manage a proper walk
you'll be muttering to yourself
be careful in case you fall
Out there
the air is full of germs
so just check the bushes
where burglars could hide
Remember to take
a shovel for protection
and to remove the dangerous dog shit
from the lawn
Be brave
don't think about rabies
the threat of nuclear war
or the latest medical scare
Just consider how lucky you are
your two arms and two legs
can get you not to quickly back inside
unscathed
without losing anymore hair
wimpy asshole
did you turn into
Scared of heights
afraid of water
You cant stand the sight
of your own blood
and it's getting harder
for you to remember
where you left your car
Maybe it's better
you don't drive at all
If you do ever find
your front door keys
and manage a proper walk
you'll be muttering to yourself
be careful in case you fall
Out there
the air is full of germs
so just check the bushes
where burglars could hide
Remember to take
a shovel for protection
and to remove the dangerous dog shit
from the lawn
Be brave
don't think about rabies
the threat of nuclear war
or the latest medical scare
Just consider how lucky you are
your two arms and two legs
can get you not to quickly back inside
unscathed
without losing anymore hair
Published 27th May 2022
| Edited 9th Feb 2023
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
27th May 2022 11:09pm
…What kind of dog shit is dangerous? Have you been feeding your daschund the dynamite Bonio again?
Good lawd :]
-M
Good lawd :]
-M
28th May 2022 10:19am
Hi Missy of the Minutes ( most time on DUP)
On the walk to school (pre-poo bag era) me and the kids on the estate would play with a pack of dogs left to roam free by their owners. Our glee was often tempered by a stinky shoe scraping session at the school gates.
My favourite hound was a mongrel we nicknamed Flash. He was the coolest, smartest and quickest in the pack. He was also the randiest. One morning he locked his forelegs around my unsuspecting knee (short trousers naturally) and attempted to jerk himself off.
Suffice it to say dogs in general seem to like me. Which is probably why the giant retriever next door goes to great lengths, including burrowing through a specially constructed hedge, to shit on my lawn.
My concern is that one day I will fail to notice his calling card, slip and go arse over tit into the garden pond. This I consider to be a rational fear.
So far he has made no attempt to serenade my bedroom window with howls, so he's probably not an attempted rapist like Flash, but I keep my eyes and ears open.
~ A
On the walk to school (pre-poo bag era) me and the kids on the estate would play with a pack of dogs left to roam free by their owners. Our glee was often tempered by a stinky shoe scraping session at the school gates.
My favourite hound was a mongrel we nicknamed Flash. He was the coolest, smartest and quickest in the pack. He was also the randiest. One morning he locked his forelegs around my unsuspecting knee (short trousers naturally) and attempted to jerk himself off.
Suffice it to say dogs in general seem to like me. Which is probably why the giant retriever next door goes to great lengths, including burrowing through a specially constructed hedge, to shit on my lawn.
My concern is that one day I will fail to notice his calling card, slip and go arse over tit into the garden pond. This I consider to be a rational fear.
So far he has made no attempt to serenade my bedroom window with howls, so he's probably not an attempted rapist like Flash, but I keep my eyes and ears open.
~ A
