meanderings of a wandering soul

 
look into my soul and find me turning in the sorrow
the truth comes upon me then evades me
once understood the lesson is then lost
when another facet of my personality takes charge
 
my essence will lie to you because I am afraid
no, don't touch, don't look at me there
I'm too vulnerable
you'll get the worst of me
proof I'm unlovable, turn away
 
I wonder are the broken pieces really me?
 
different sides of the whole
or are they more to the point
the hurt within
 
broken my soul shatters
then I am left in the nothingness
personifying feelings because I can't fully connect with them
 
the lonely blossom and sway in the wind
she whispered thoughts that took flight
I sought to capture the melancholy
but she rose higher then look back and smile at me
as she waved goodbye
 
I weep inside myself, I ache without her
she was the part of me who understood how I feel sometimes
when I am lonely
 
I was left empty, my own soul fled to a kinder place
I sought to take flight, and follow her
but the nothingness took hold of me
weighing me with a heavy feeling
I fear I would never feel anything again
 
my spirit children born of my soul are my emotions
I keep them within my sacred gardens
but sorrow and hurt so often find themselves inside the angry
this place is dark and no place for the innocent
 
while trying to find their way back to the gardens they got lost
and were frightened
suddenly an angel appeared sparing my loneliness
and they grew wings
my children safe in sanctuary
I have hope
 
sometimes they sing to me
telling me they will return when my soul grows up inside