deepundergroundpoetry.com
Arc Buxom
Another vernal gibbous, waxing bright,
Governs the cold sea serpent breeze beneath;
Fixing to riot just enough tonight
To glow like candles on a Christmas wreath.
Now and then a pale hemisphere shows
To drill a stratus with persistent beams,
Only to be blocked when Zephyrus blows
Billows into Hesperidian dreams...
Where nymphs console the dragon of the west
With a radiant glory of their own...
To harmonize with Luna...opalesced,
In her zaftig phase, fortnightly flown,
Hard imbued by that ever flaming beast
Once more raising his vigor in the east.
Governs the cold sea serpent breeze beneath;
Fixing to riot just enough tonight
To glow like candles on a Christmas wreath.
Now and then a pale hemisphere shows
To drill a stratus with persistent beams,
Only to be blocked when Zephyrus blows
Billows into Hesperidian dreams...
Where nymphs console the dragon of the west
With a radiant glory of their own...
To harmonize with Luna...opalesced,
In her zaftig phase, fortnightly flown,
Hard imbued by that ever flaming beast
Once more raising his vigor in the east.
Published 14th May 2022
Author's Note
As a Midnight Sonneteer, I spend a lot of time admiring the Moon and sky. They are endlessly beautiful.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 1
comments 6
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
14th May 2022 12:56pm
<< post removed >>
14th May 2022 1:02pm
Thank you! This seems like a great group! I'm looking forward to a lot of reading here.
Hello there and welcome to DU. I hope that you find all that you need here.
The opening lines of the poem are a thing of beauty. I really enjoy the descriptions of the moon and her phases. That serpent breeze image is particularly on point, and adds this very otherworldly flavour to the content. I particularly liked his the serpents underneath merge into the dragons of the west further into the poem. Similarly with the use of directions you have in here. Nice bit of motion there.
If I could add one small piece of constructive criticism, I’d say don’t go TOO heavy on the pretty words. Though I totally understand it’s sometimes needed because of the mythology involved here, an overuse can sometimes weigh a piece down. Maybe just something to consider for the future.
I enjoyed this piece. It creates a lovely atmosphere of mystery that just appeals to me. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to more of your offerings.
-M
The opening lines of the poem are a thing of beauty. I really enjoy the descriptions of the moon and her phases. That serpent breeze image is particularly on point, and adds this very otherworldly flavour to the content. I particularly liked his the serpents underneath merge into the dragons of the west further into the poem. Similarly with the use of directions you have in here. Nice bit of motion there.
If I could add one small piece of constructive criticism, I’d say don’t go TOO heavy on the pretty words. Though I totally understand it’s sometimes needed because of the mythology involved here, an overuse can sometimes weigh a piece down. Maybe just something to consider for the future.
I enjoyed this piece. It creates a lovely atmosphere of mystery that just appeals to me. Thank you for sharing and I look forward to more of your offerings.
-M
14th May 2022 3:43pm
Thank You! I'm a big fan of Elizabethan English so sometimes I get carried away. One of my goals is to dovetail that Elizabethan vibe into something more contemporary, only without getting too ostentatious. I spent most of 2020 reading Shakespeare, but I have no regrets.
27th Feb 2024 00:43am
27th Feb 2024 1:43am
