deepundergroundpoetry.com
most days
woke up groggy like every morning
got the kids to school like most mornings
snacks packed, lunch money's accounted for
hair/teeth/shoes/jackets - hoods up
kiss you/love you/have a good day
and got back into bed
with 2 hours to spare before bus time
since my work hours were cut for the winter -
can't shoot any tourists this time of year
i lay there and thought of him randomly
strummed my lips a little bit
gave up because no use in just wanting
and wanting what ain't coming
hit transport and did the day, like every day
put up the pub's Christmas decorations
smoked with the boys for a minute
a protective one cracking jokes about my ex
went home a little happy, a little groggy
like most evenings
got the kids to school like most mornings
snacks packed, lunch money's accounted for
hair/teeth/shoes/jackets - hoods up
kiss you/love you/have a good day
and got back into bed
with 2 hours to spare before bus time
since my work hours were cut for the winter -
can't shoot any tourists this time of year
i lay there and thought of him randomly
strummed my lips a little bit
gave up because no use in just wanting
and wanting what ain't coming
hit transport and did the day, like every day
put up the pub's Christmas decorations
smoked with the boys for a minute
a protective one cracking jokes about my ex
went home a little happy, a little groggy
like most evenings
Published 29th Apr 2022
Author's Note
Originally published 12 April 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 5
reading list entries 2
comments 7
reads 716
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 19th Feb 2023 9:45pm
29th Apr 2022 8:34pm
<< post removed >>
2nd May 2022 6:15am
I do tend to appreciate the muted poem sometimes.. it paints a picture, even if it's a still-life. Thanks for stopping in :)
30th Apr 2022 8:35am
Hello
I absolutely love how you've packed and entire day into 4 quick sharp stanzas. It reads like a self reflection filled with a day and then finds itself admitting to be most days. I had a smile a smile at Christmas decor in April. Unsure if it was intended but it is humorous.
Unsure about the use of "morning" twice in as many lines. It reads well all the same.
What is fun to do is to read the day backwards going up ;) I like that.
Thoroughly enjoyed this...
Blue Skies at you !
Al
I absolutely love how you've packed and entire day into 4 quick sharp stanzas. It reads like a self reflection filled with a day and then finds itself admitting to be most days. I had a smile a smile at Christmas decor in April. Unsure if it was intended but it is humorous.
Unsure about the use of "morning" twice in as many lines. It reads well all the same.
What is fun to do is to read the day backwards going up ;) I like that.
Thoroughly enjoyed this...
Blue Skies at you !
Al
2nd May 2022 6:22am
Haha, it was originally posted in April, not written then! but it is a pretty cute observation, I'll give you that, Al.
I was torn about the double use of morning, but it was to contrast "every" with "most" hoping the consistent next word would emphasise the different previous word... Must not have worked as I thought it would... will have a look
probably should have written the whole thing backwards, to be honest... but it was ages ago when I was trying to get myself back into writing (which, coincidentally, is what is happening now). I'll forgive myself this time, and maybe have a quiet go of it when noone's looking :)
Thank you for your valued feedback, sir
I was torn about the double use of morning, but it was to contrast "every" with "most" hoping the consistent next word would emphasise the different previous word... Must not have worked as I thought it would... will have a look
probably should have written the whole thing backwards, to be honest... but it was ages ago when I was trying to get myself back into writing (which, coincidentally, is what is happening now). I'll forgive myself this time, and maybe have a quiet go of it when noone's looking :)
Thank you for your valued feedback, sir
5th May 2022 12:30pm
6th May 2022 3:23am
I love the "day to day" poems that get posted. Because it fills in some of the author's identity for the reader. We read such things and know it isn't a "bot" churning out awesome poems and stories. The struggle is real! Lol.
Of those of yours I've read, this one sticks the most. I was a primary custodial parent for many years, and I worked as a bartender some of that time. -When he went to school, I went to sleep! (What do you mean there's no school today!)
But, I've read several of yours, because I like to get an idea of what an author is about.
And, you have a very good eye for this stuff. We "see" as we write, after all.
I'm not much for breaking down an individual poem, or story, that is posted. I take it as a whole mostly. How did it grab me? But also, when a particular killer line hits me like mental lightning, yeah, that too.
So even if you have a dark cloud sometimes, you're reaping the lightning. It's in your poems.
Really good stuff!
Of those of yours I've read, this one sticks the most. I was a primary custodial parent for many years, and I worked as a bartender some of that time. -When he went to school, I went to sleep! (What do you mean there's no school today!)
But, I've read several of yours, because I like to get an idea of what an author is about.
And, you have a very good eye for this stuff. We "see" as we write, after all.
I'm not much for breaking down an individual poem, or story, that is posted. I take it as a whole mostly. How did it grab me? But also, when a particular killer line hits me like mental lightning, yeah, that too.
So even if you have a dark cloud sometimes, you're reaping the lightning. It's in your poems.
Really good stuff!
21st Sep 2022 7:17pm
At the time you may think just another mundane day, passing the time doing the chores, but upon reflection there is generally a moment that bring a smile.
Enjoyed a slice in the day of Jestalessa.
Enjoyed a slice in the day of Jestalessa.
