Rent Without Lingerie

Rent Without Lingerie      
            
     “Honey, did you do the laundry yet?”
     “Remember, I told you my computer science finals are next week. College is an old bear and I have to focus. I wish you didn’t have the bear the weight of chores.”
     “You are wearing nothing but a negligee. You seem to invite naughtiness.”
     “Well, even scholarship gets a spring break. Is my lingerie distracting you from household attentiveness?”
     “New Orleans nights can get hot. So you go right ahead and wear that chemise.”
     “Don’t you love how we go through the rituals of married life even though our relationship is of a different nature? We take a vacation from reality together.”
     “I like to think ours is not altogether unlike a marriage.”
     “Well, our time spent under the same roof is temporary.”
     “Such is true for all mortals.”
     “Tonight you are in a parry and thrust mood.”
     “Putting out for an old man like me isn’t so awful is it?”
     “Given that I get free rent for each month I do it the deal is sweet. But tell me if we make this a weekly arrangement will you make the minimum payments on my student loans?”
     “Well at my age I can’t promise to keep the pace. But there are other ways of keeping up. Is 69 in your mathematical technique?”
     “Geometry isn’t my specialty but age is no obstacle to free room. There is one prerequisite for our continued tryst. Do my curves appeal to you? Here I am speaking especially the roundness of my derriere.”
     “I’d be lying if I said your bottom wasn’t a premiere attraction.”
     “Well then pet me down there. I’ll purr for you. In fact, you can lick my soft tush. I won’t complain.”
     “I won’t complain if you need more debt relief as compensation.”
     “You read my mind. But truthfully it isn’t all about money. Though paying my rent without a check is the key to me that isn’t the whole picture.”
     “Is keeping your bank account full enough incentive to keep you here for the long term?”
     “Well, my college loans are big enough that your proposal is very attractive.”
     “Be honest with me, do you have doubts about your form of payment although the benefits are lucrative?”
     “Well honey, even a married woman has reservations about the connubial privileges she affords her husband. The question I have is am I worth it to you?”
     “As your benefactor, I can attest to my rewards both in the bed and as a contributor to the welfare of a struggling young woman.”
     “Hey if you are a charitable gentleman then I am not above being on the receiving end of an arrangement in which I give as much as I take. I am a feminist after all and believe in a fair exchange rate for a woman in her prime.”
     “Would you be interested in expanding our enterprise?”
     “I hope you aren’t referring to this business venture we have going. I should think it is in full swing.”
     “Actually I was thinking of a different sort of entrepreneurship.”
     “I never thought of marriage as in need of a small business administration grant. But our coop won’t need federal funding just plenty of good old-fashioned love.”