fuck you and your romantic wonderland

You act like this isn't hard for me
like I'm not brimming with things
that want to bubble over

I am a fucking pillar of self control
and you are a spineless man child
that doesn't want to deal
with the consequences of his actions

Sometimes I fucking hate you so much
I want to see your face smashed in
and I want to be the one to do it

And sometimes I miss the way
your arms held me with an illusion of safety
that wasn't ever really safe
we were both just good at pretending it was

You light up my phone
with miss you and love you
and more sorry's than deserve
to put in a written paragraph
like if you give me
the right combination of words
it'll somehow undo the past

I'm not a magical fucking lock box
that hold the secrets to your happy life
make your own fucking happiness
because you sure as hell don't deserve mine

~Eve~