So Much Fucking Death

12/19/21 is a date that will live within my mind for as long as i continue to draw breath.
That was the day i received a text from my grandfathers widow.
It wasn't a pleasant text.
It was a heart breaking text.
The kind of text that i have received many times before in my life.
My dearest 22 year old cousin was dead.
She had overdosed early that morning.
It was her scumbag bf that supplied her the lethal dosage.
She met the same fate as her dad did some 15 years earlier.
I have dealt with more death than i had ever dreamed of.
Not just family.
But friends as well.
It's either death by car wrecks,drowning,suicide,drugs,emphysema,heart attack.
So much fucking death.
I ask god time after time, "Why? why the hell am i still breathing on this forsaken rock?
I'm just tired.
So fucking tired.
Tired of all this fucking death going on around me.
So Much Fucking Death.
So Much Fucking Death.
So Much Fucking Death.