Watch them leave

 

I’m 7 months sober, but the pills keep calling me.

I wish they’d loose my number.

It’s getting old.

True feelings start to unfold.

Deep internal trauma that I buried a long time ago.

Dam!

Why can’t they stay under the surface?

It defeats the purpose,
of being buried in the first place.

So it started with kids a school pushing me down.

Thinking that they ran the play ground.

I grew older.

They got colder.

Home wasn’t better and I once had one shoulder, to cry on.

But she is gone.

She was my guardian angel and then she gained her wings.

When things were tough.

She knew when I had enough.

She would hold me and remind me of her love.

Now, I feel it pouring down when the rain falls from above.

It’s been 2 years, I know I need to move on.

I was engaged with a man and he’s gone, too.

No matter what I do, nothing is stable and some say that I am insecure.

The truth is I am unsure.

If someone genuinely loves me.

If they’ll stay or I’ll have to watch them leave.

Like everyone else.