Gordo Schools a Catholic Priest

"Boy, what is that doing in your pocket?"

It was a condom, one I saved to use for Lizzie tonight. Our special night.

We are 17 now. We are going to make love for the first time. And I have no idea what I'll be doing. I'm nervous with her, but with this man, I am nothing.

It's a Sunday.

"It's none of your business," I say.

"It is my business."

"Why?"

"Because to God, it's an abomination to have sex before marriage."

"I am married."

"No, you aren't, boy," he says.

"Marriage is a mindset, not a piece of paper."

"That's not enough, boy. You need real documentation."

"A legal marriage between two people says nothing about their actual relationship."

"Ludacris."

"Not really. Anyway, can you please leave me alone?"

"You're a Jew, aren't you?"

"That's none of your business either."

"You're a crazy mess who needs the lord badly."

"You know nothing about what it means to follow the lord."