deepundergroundpoetry.com
Crocodile
Even when he lies
He says
I'll be back in an hour
I shrug it off and
Take a shower
Many hours later
He strolls into the house
I sit waiting like a mouse
Look into his eyes
Already know he's fried
Even when he lies
He says
I smoked a little weed
His anthem his creed
Saluting the visible bloody vein
Even when I lie
I say
I'll love you forever
Float over like a
Magnetic feather
When he reaches for my hand
I should have ran
He touches my skin
I know he wants in
My salvation sin
Even when he lies
he says
I've got some frills
Shows me a few pills
Feeling a scared rush thrill
Even when I lie
I say
You know I'm gana save you
He gives me a smile and says
Maybe after while crocodile
Even when we lie
These awful swimming lies
The proof of truth drowns
He says
I'll be back in an hour
I shrug it off and
Take a shower
Many hours later
He strolls into the house
I sit waiting like a mouse
Look into his eyes
Already know he's fried
Even when he lies
He says
I smoked a little weed
His anthem his creed
Saluting the visible bloody vein
Even when I lie
I say
I'll love you forever
Float over like a
Magnetic feather
When he reaches for my hand
I should have ran
He touches my skin
I know he wants in
My salvation sin
Even when he lies
he says
I've got some frills
Shows me a few pills
Feeling a scared rush thrill
Even when I lie
I say
You know I'm gana save you
He gives me a smile and says
Maybe after while crocodile
Even when we lie
These awful swimming lies
The proof of truth drowns
Published 18th Nov 2021
Author's Note
This is the first poem I wrote. Over 15 years ago. Phew!!
I tweaked it here and there before posting but not a lot.
We are not in that place anymore. Sometimes it can be right smack in your face. A mutual acknowledgement of faults. It can be as simple as not making a change because you just don't want to. Not yet. But time moves on and kids come along and there is no other choice. Lines are drawn and you are ready for the war. Either change or you can go be miserable by yourself. Long story short - he changed:)
I tweaked it here and there before posting but not a lot.
We are not in that place anymore. Sometimes it can be right smack in your face. A mutual acknowledgement of faults. It can be as simple as not making a change because you just don't want to. Not yet. But time moves on and kids come along and there is no other choice. Lines are drawn and you are ready for the war. Either change or you can go be miserable by yourself. Long story short - he changed:)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 4
comments 31
reads 864
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Anonymous
- Edited 10th Feb 2022 2:45pm
18th Nov 2021 3:45am
<< post removed >>
18th Nov 2021 3:53am
Hey!
Girl - this was hard for me.
Usually like to be in the world where everything is pretty and nice but it's not reality. Everyone has struggles. Thank you so much for this
RL hug amiga.
Girl - this was hard for me.
Usually like to be in the world where everything is pretty and nice but it's not reality. Everyone has struggles. Thank you so much for this
RL hug amiga.
Anonymous
- Edited 10th Feb 2022 2:45pm
18th Nov 2021 3:56am
<< post removed >>
18th Nov 2021 4:04am
I’m so glad you aren’t in “this” place anymore. But from there came an amazing write, deep and soulful, Trust is wonderful unless it’s used as a weapon. I agree with Selina, I felt these words!
19th Nov 2021 00:31am
Thank you so much NG:)
I was so nervous putting this out there.
I remember back then - sitting down - grabbing an
Iron Man spiral - finding a blank page and just writing.
Thanks so much for the read amiga!
I was so nervous putting this out there.
I remember back then - sitting down - grabbing an
Iron Man spiral - finding a blank page and just writing.
Thanks so much for the read amiga!
18th Nov 2021 4:07am
good evening beautiful Adelphina this is a really relatable write I'm happy for you he came around and changed his way of doing things my ex husband never did and he died in his addiction...I struggle with addiction myself to this day... a very brave write lovely poetess💕
I am so sorry you went through that. Ughh. I have an ache in my heart for you after reading your comment.
It wasn't easy. I still to this day I get nervous when he leaves and he takes longer then he should. Then I turn into a pain in the ass because I will keep calling till he walks through the door. Little check ups on how his voice sounds on the phone, if I hear anything in the background. He gets frustrated about it but he deals with it.
He got a new circle of friends and focused on working and coming home.
I will be rooting for you amiga:)
You are stronger than you think.
Thank you so much for this comment Crimsin and the RL:)
It wasn't easy. I still to this day I get nervous when he leaves and he takes longer then he should. Then I turn into a pain in the ass because I will keep calling till he walks through the door. Little check ups on how his voice sounds on the phone, if I hear anything in the background. He gets frustrated about it but he deals with it.
He got a new circle of friends and focused on working and coming home.
I will be rooting for you amiga:)
You are stronger than you think.
Thank you so much for this comment Crimsin and the RL:)
Anonymous
- Edited 9th Apr 2022 5:45am
18th Nov 2021 4:16am
<< post removed >>
19th Nov 2021 00:42am
Very terrible path BP.
But it is in my rearview mirror. No looking back.
Thank you for reading and commenting amigo:)
But it is in my rearview mirror. No looking back.
Thank you for reading and commenting amigo:)
18th Nov 2021 4:27am
Writing out your woes may not solve them but it's always good to lay some pipe as the expression goes. It's a starting point to recovery and resolve perhaps.
Brave ink and glad you shared ...
BIG LIKE
Brave ink and glad you shared ...
BIG LIKE
It is therapeutic to write it down and share.
I was so nervous. I even emailed Selina before I pushed the
submit button. Still a little scared about sharing something so personal even though we are passed it.
thanks for commenting amigo:)
I see you changed your avatar.
You were looking good there in the black shirt PS:)
I was so nervous. I even emailed Selina before I pushed the
submit button. Still a little scared about sharing something so personal even though we are passed it.
thanks for commenting amigo:)
I see you changed your avatar.
You were looking good there in the black shirt PS:)
18th Nov 2021 5:56am
Dear A,
It takes a whole lot of gumption to write a painful truth. And then face it down. Setting boundaries and moving on with or without your loved one is a difficult process. I’m always so grateful for poems of this magnitude as they help me face my own hardships knowing I’m not alone. I was glad to read the authors note afterward. Great write. H🌷
It takes a whole lot of gumption to write a painful truth. And then face it down. Setting boundaries and moving on with or without your loved one is a difficult process. I’m always so grateful for poems of this magnitude as they help me face my own hardships knowing I’m not alone. I was glad to read the authors note afterward. Great write. H🌷
19th Nov 2021 00:53am
Hi H:)
Thank you for your comment. It was painful. And no - you are not alone. There were times I was sick of the back and forth. Finally had to get real about it and left to my moms. Sometimes you do have to leave. If it is meant to be you will work it out. He came by everyday to see if I was ready to come home. Of course I was but I didn't want to let him know that until he showed me something different.
On a lighter note - he also had to deal with my mom. LOL
She as well did not make it easy for him.
She is a straight up mama bear. Didn't matter how old I was. hahah
Thank you for commenting and the RL amiga:)
Thank you for your comment. It was painful. And no - you are not alone. There were times I was sick of the back and forth. Finally had to get real about it and left to my moms. Sometimes you do have to leave. If it is meant to be you will work it out. He came by everyday to see if I was ready to come home. Of course I was but I didn't want to let him know that until he showed me something different.
On a lighter note - he also had to deal with my mom. LOL
She as well did not make it easy for him.
She is a straight up mama bear. Didn't matter how old I was. hahah
Thank you for commenting and the RL amiga:)
18th Nov 2021 6:37pm
A vulnerable but powerful write about addiction, pain, struggles, and change. It makes me think of some things that I have faced in my life which I still struggle to write about or share with anyone so I really appreciate your bravery. I definitely felt this one. I am so glad you set boundaries for yourself in order to obtain the life you deserve. I think you are so wonderful and it does not surprise me that he chose to change for you. That was definitely the smart choice. :) xoxo <3
19th Nov 2021 1:04am
Hi Kristina,
Struggles and change. Well said. It was such a struggle for a while.
I did end up leaving and went home with my parents. I had a great support system. There was no need for me to have to be there. Just cause you love someone doesn't mean you have to be stuck there when it turns toxic. I needed to clear my mind and needed space to see what it felt like to be without him. I don't think he thought I would leave. He made a new circle of friends and focused on work. He knows me so well. He would come over to my moms daily and ask if I wanted to just go have dinner. He knows I love to go out to eat. I said no a few times - then I caved. LOL
Thanks for commenting amiga:)
Struggles and change. Well said. It was such a struggle for a while.
I did end up leaving and went home with my parents. I had a great support system. There was no need for me to have to be there. Just cause you love someone doesn't mean you have to be stuck there when it turns toxic. I needed to clear my mind and needed space to see what it felt like to be without him. I don't think he thought I would leave. He made a new circle of friends and focused on work. He knows me so well. He would come over to my moms daily and ask if I wanted to just go have dinner. He knows I love to go out to eat. I said no a few times - then I caved. LOL
Thanks for commenting amiga:)
18th Nov 2021 7:09pm
The chase of thrill will take us down the rabbit hole... Glad to see you made it out of the other side
19th Nov 2021 1:08am
Right! Ughh. Tough times amigo.
But it is in my rearview mirror.
Getting through the tough stuff makes
you appreciate the great stuff.
We did make it out. He's a great guy.
Always encourages my writing even if it was not so complimentary towards him.
Thanks or commenting:)
But it is in my rearview mirror.
Getting through the tough stuff makes
you appreciate the great stuff.
We did make it out. He's a great guy.
Always encourages my writing even if it was not so complimentary towards him.
Thanks or commenting:)
21st Nov 2021 5:47pm
That can't be easy. I sometimes see druggy couples around where I live. Ok, so they have each other. No much else. Pitiful sights. But then, who am I to judge?
23rd Nov 2021 3:12am
Hi Robert!
Thank you so much for reading.
When you are in any relationship you should always want to try and be a better person. Someone to pump the brakes when it gets out of hand. I feel sad about your comment. I guess they feel no one else cares so why should they. And maybe people do care but it's just too hard to change or too many bridges being burned. All I know is that there are no happy druggy couples.
Thank you for stopping by:)
Thank you so much for reading.
When you are in any relationship you should always want to try and be a better person. Someone to pump the brakes when it gets out of hand. I feel sad about your comment. I guess they feel no one else cares so why should they. And maybe people do care but it's just too hard to change or too many bridges being burned. All I know is that there are no happy druggy couples.
Thank you for stopping by:)
23rd Nov 2021 3:21am
I suppose. I don't know. In Montreal we have street workers who walk around with their packs of new needles to distribute. There is also at least ONE day center where they can go for info etc... In the Summer they even a booth at a special park where druggies gather.. There are resources for all. Of course I am not in the head of these persons. I certainly would not want to be in their place.
23rd Nov 2021 5:03am
23rd Nov 2021 5:12am
Hello:)
It is deep. So deep not sure I wanted to bring it to the surface but I'm glad I did. Twenties can either break you or make you.
I don't break so easy:)
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
It is deep. So deep not sure I wanted to bring it to the surface but I'm glad I did. Twenties can either break you or make you.
I don't break so easy:)
Thanks for stopping by and commenting.
4th Dec 2021 11:58pm
Hello,
The truth, cruel truth and your tolerance and hope. I salute you.
Love
KS
The truth, cruel truth and your tolerance and hope. I salute you.
Love
KS
5th Dec 2021 00:06am
Hello Kris:)
Where would we be as a society without hope right?
Just something I lived through and climbed with bloody nails out.
Thanks for the salute. Right back at ya:)
Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
Where would we be as a society without hope right?
Just something I lived through and climbed with bloody nails out.
Thanks for the salute. Right back at ya:)
Thank you for stopping by and commenting!
5th Dec 2021 00:51am
Hello,
This is unfortunate that we are walking into the darkness with the advent of science, technology, awareness and material accomplishments. I know when I lost my two friends in this darkness. I wish you best. I had never been into it. I felt bad that I could not save my two friends. When I see their family it bleeds my heart.
I am glad that you are clean Wish you best of luck and stay in high spirit.
KS
This is unfortunate that we are walking into the darkness with the advent of science, technology, awareness and material accomplishments. I know when I lost my two friends in this darkness. I wish you best. I had never been into it. I felt bad that I could not save my two friends. When I see their family it bleeds my heart.
I am glad that you are clean Wish you best of luck and stay in high spirit.
KS
18th Dec 2021 3:15am
I love this. It reminds me of own style. It is down to earth yet powerful. I can your hear you in this. very nice write!
18th Dec 2021 3:24am
Thanks Mr. R!!!
Reading your stuff kinda gave me some ink courage. LOL
If it can help just one person - totally worth it.
Thanks for the RL!!!
Reading your stuff kinda gave me some ink courage. LOL
If it can help just one person - totally worth it.
Thanks for the RL!!!
18th Dec 2021 3:29am
26th Feb 2022 8:44pm
26th Feb 2022 8:53pm
Hahah. No prob:)
You influenced this style amigo.
Look up anytime you want:)
You influenced this style amigo.
Look up anytime you want:)
26th Feb 2022 8:55pm
I’m glad I could be a part of a poem written so well. That is very exciting! Keep it up you are a hell of a writer.
