deepundergroundpoetry.com
If I should craft some lullabies for you
If I should craft some lullabies for you,
there’d be one marked to rhythm out
the tender sways I’d dance in you
when you I’d safely cradled in my arms
in rocking chair or bed.
Another one to warm away the biting cold
that frosted gusts from off
the bay have shivered into you
as I am drawing you within a favorite blanket’s fold
And one that I would say
when I have lit against midwinter’s
deepening night some candles flames
and set the tapers at the water's edge of a teeming tub
that for you I’ve drawn up and called you to
to bathe you, glide my hands against your limbs
to see you, watch you, glistening,
in all the hushing warmth,
and golden light they gild you in.
A fourth would be a special one
I’d have to hand to shush your fears away
if ever you should wake all whimpering
into the silent smallest hours of night
a frightened, harrowed helpless by
some ugly hateful dream.
And yet another I would say, when I’d sit down with you
to brush your hair with stroke on loving stroke,
And finally, there’d be the one to guide
the silent circlings of my hands around your breasts,
and then, in smaller circles still
along, and then between, your thighs,
when spooning, pressed against your back,
I reach intent to wrest you into rest
to sate you, drowse you with
contentings and contentments aimed
to sigh you off to sleep.
there’d be one marked to rhythm out
the tender sways I’d dance in you
when you I’d safely cradled in my arms
in rocking chair or bed.
Another one to warm away the biting cold
that frosted gusts from off
the bay have shivered into you
as I am drawing you within a favorite blanket’s fold
And one that I would say
when I have lit against midwinter’s
deepening night some candles flames
and set the tapers at the water's edge of a teeming tub
that for you I’ve drawn up and called you to
to bathe you, glide my hands against your limbs
to see you, watch you, glistening,
in all the hushing warmth,
and golden light they gild you in.
A fourth would be a special one
I’d have to hand to shush your fears away
if ever you should wake all whimpering
into the silent smallest hours of night
a frightened, harrowed helpless by
some ugly hateful dream.
And yet another I would say, when I’d sit down with you
to brush your hair with stroke on loving stroke,
And finally, there’d be the one to guide
the silent circlings of my hands around your breasts,
and then, in smaller circles still
along, and then between, your thighs,
when spooning, pressed against your back,
I reach intent to wrest you into rest
to sate you, drowse you with
contentings and contentments aimed
to sigh you off to sleep.
Author's Note
It's something I want to see J-Z use as inspiration for the type of submission he has yet to (and possibly cannot) write, i.e., a sensual, image filled love poem for the woman he loves and takes joy in, assuming there is one such woman.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
15th Nov 2021 11:59pm
Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 00:08am
Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 00:12am
Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 2:31am
That might be true. But it's s not an answer to my question., I asked if I spoke of seasons.
Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 5:25am
You did ask that but its not for me tell an author what he wrote. But in reading the poem I did think about seasons.
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Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 1:32pm
Though hearing what you thought about when you read my submission is interesting to me, you should know that when I ask, as I did, for honest **criticism** of my submission, I'm not asking you to tell me what I wrote, but how and why what I wrote is (or is not) written well and whether or not what I wrote displays poetic art. Perhaps you do not how to do this or are unable to speak articulately and thoughtfully to those questions. How else is your statement that it's not for you to tell an author what he wrote to be explained?
Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 1:41pm
Thank you admitting the truth. If you are jealous of something ask Jesus to forgive you. If you read my work you will find I do not have problems articulating anything but that is what you are trying to make it seem like with what you are saying. It is very unpoetic of you. You can pretend that you're not doing that but the truth is truth and you have to stand before God at the judgment for what you do.
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Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 2:16pm
If you have no problems articulating anything, then why did you not do what I ask when I said I want honest criticism of the way **I **write and whether what **I** write displays poetic art. How reading your "work" would full that request is not at all clear
Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 1:45pm
Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 2:17pm
Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 2:25pm
I'm not saying I understand everything poets write, Only God does, People have alot of personal and complex things to say and express sometimes it is good to know what an author means and sometimes it is not. Sometimes truth is hard to grasp.
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Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 3:03pm
Are you saying that you didn't understand this submission of mine?
BTW, on what grounds do you claim in your bio that you are a "master poet"?
" Just because I am a master poet does not make me a phony. "
Has any editor of a critical poetry journal or any award-winning poet or any recognized and authoritative poetry critic told you so?
BTW, on what grounds do you claim in your bio that you are a "master poet"?
" Just because I am a master poet does not make me a phony. "
Has any editor of a critical poetry journal or any award-winning poet or any recognized and authoritative poetry critic told you so?
Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 3:06pm
You don't know how to read between the lines. You are being too negative and attacking towards me in your thinking. There is no real good reason to be that way. What makes a poet his words? Jesus? or a man with a simple job? How about you decide If I'm a poet or not? The issue isn't if I am a poet or not the issue is you don't like the truth I speak.
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Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 3:30pm
"The issue isn't if I am a poet or not the issue is you don't like the truth I speak."
The issue is not what I like or dislike, but whether you are indeed what you claim to be and have spoken the truth when you said in your bio here that you are a "master poet"?
Why have you dodged answering that question?
And what's wrong in asking who, besides yourself, regards you as such?
The fact that you've dodged answering that question as well - a question that should be easy for you to answer if others have agreed with your statement about yourself -- indicates that no one, let alone anyone of stature in poetry circles, has agreed with you on this matter done and that you are someone who is unjustifiably self-aggrandizing.
The issue is not what I like or dislike, but whether you are indeed what you claim to be and have spoken the truth when you said in your bio here that you are a "master poet"?
Why have you dodged answering that question?
And what's wrong in asking who, besides yourself, regards you as such?
The fact that you've dodged answering that question as well - a question that should be easy for you to answer if others have agreed with your statement about yourself -- indicates that no one, let alone anyone of stature in poetry circles, has agreed with you on this matter done and that you are someone who is unjustifiably self-aggrandizing.
Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
You don't know how to read between the lines. You are being too negative and attacking towards me in your thinking. There is no real good reason to be that way. What makes a poet his words? Jesus? or a man with a simple job? How about you decide If I'm a poet or not? The issue isn't if I am a poet or not the issue is you don't like the truth I speak. I didn't accuse your poetry of being bad but there are something you obviously do not understand that is not an attack that is just the truth. I am not woman Jesus lied.
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Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 3:40pm
"I didn't accuse your poetry of being bad"
Who said you did? I asked you to articulate how and why my piece does (or does not) display what is considered by well-known poets and critics to be the elements of poetic art.
"but there are something [sic somethingS] you obviously do not understand "
Perhaps you'll do me the kindness of telling what these things are. After all, if they are obvious, you should easily be able to list them.
Who said you did? I asked you to articulate how and why my piece does (or does not) display what is considered by well-known poets and critics to be the elements of poetic art.
"but there are something [sic somethingS] you obviously do not understand "
Perhaps you'll do me the kindness of telling what these things are. After all, if they are obvious, you should easily be able to list them.
Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 3:43pm
"You don't know how to read between the lines.
Which lines did I fail, because of a lack of knowledge, to read between? Please be specific.
Which lines did I fail, because of a lack of knowledge, to read between? Please be specific.
Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
when you read between the lines and think that I am being dishonest then you are wrong. why would want to continue that way
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Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
Please point out to me where I read "between the lines" and which specific lines I read between.
And this is about the question of the truth or acknowledgment by others of your claim in your bio to be a master poet, I did not read between any lines. I read exactly what you wrote in your bio and nothing else.
Are you now telling me that you did not claim in your bio to be a master poet? Did you intend that this claim should not be taken literally or as undoubtedly and unambiguously true? Was your bio written by someone else who misrepresented who you think you are?
And this is about the question of the truth or acknowledgment by others of your claim in your bio to be a master poet, I did not read between any lines. I read exactly what you wrote in your bio and nothing else.
Are you now telling me that you did not claim in your bio to be a master poet? Did you intend that this claim should not be taken literally or as undoubtedly and unambiguously true? Was your bio written by someone else who misrepresented who you think you are?
Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 4:38pm
everyone reads between the lines or they should in one way or another if time is just then time is rust
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Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
"everyone reads between the lines or they should in one way or another if time is just then time is rust"
Even assuming that this strangely and obscurely written claim is true, not to mention that what is understood when one reads between the lines of someone's writing is always a misunderstanding of what an author wrote, your message is a dodge of my question of where specifically I do what you claim (without substantiation) everyone (including you?) does.
Are you going to point this out to me or not?
Even assuming that this strangely and obscurely written claim is true, not to mention that what is understood when one reads between the lines of someone's writing is always a misunderstanding of what an author wrote, your message is a dodge of my question of where specifically I do what you claim (without substantiation) everyone (including you?) does.
Are you going to point this out to me or not?
Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 4:51pm
Re: Re. If I should craft some lullabies for you
16th Nov 2021 7:49pm
What is interesting? And how does this comment serve to answer any of the questions I put to you?