sorrow

i often think to myself,
why am i here?
i mean lets face it. living in this generation
is not meant for me.
ive been hurt so many times that i
begin to think im the problem.
maybe i am.
who knows.
being the cause of the problem has made me start disliking myself,
when i wake up and look in the mirror?
i can see is a loser.
then i start to hate myself.
the problem is?
i care more about everyone else than myself.
i could careless about my well being just to see you happy.
and then they want more and more and more.
im not enough?
i can feel the sorrow in my chest.
i can feel the demons creeping up on me.
i can feel the hate, the depression, the grief the regret.
eat me up..
where am i even going with this?
all i can really say is that
i didnt ask to exist,
i didnt sign up to be neglected.
i didnt sign up to be heartbroken.
i didnt sign up to be abused.
all i ever wanted is to is love someone and be loved back for once.
without the arguments.
without the abused.
without the heartbreak.
i just wanted to be with out sorrow.