deepundergroundpoetry.com
Autumn Takes All
Wet blankets clothe the prickled skin and the drape is something so backwards
In frozen alive moments of maybe, maybe not, I'd play the flower, but all have died. The tear petals forgotten and sometimes eye spied, a broken fragment pie, baked with all the attention I selfishly taked.
In frozen alive moments of maybe, maybe not, I'd play the flower, but all have died. The tear petals forgotten and sometimes eye spied, a broken fragment pie, baked with all the attention I selfishly taked.
Published 13th Oct 2021
Author's Note
The quilt is ripping beneath the scar seams.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Anonymous
15th Oct 2021 5:20pm
Very enjoyable effect, with some very nice images...
"tear petals" that fall.
the "frozen alive moments of maybe, maybe not"
the wet blanket that freezes--
the interconnected-ness of the images, and the dream-logic connecting--
the effect reaches a crescendo in the 3rd stanza, that works well:
the convexity of the surface of the eye (cornea?) becomes the baked pie--
"I selfishly taked"--
so many nice details!
resisting the intellect, but not too much--
enjoyed!
Very effective linguistic work in the images,
"tear petals" that fall.
the "frozen alive moments of maybe, maybe not"
the wet blanket that freezes--
the interconnected-ness of the images, and the dream-logic connecting--
the effect reaches a crescendo in the 3rd stanza, that works well:
the convexity of the surface of the eye (cornea?) becomes the baked pie--
"I selfishly taked"--
so many nice details!
resisting the intellect, but not too much--
enjoyed!
Very effective linguistic work in the images,
16th Oct 2021 2:03am
12th Dec 2021 3:15am
One of the best reads I've seen in ten years of being on the website. Well done.
12th Dec 2021 6:03am
