Yea, Im Drunk Tonight

I do this way to often
Getting drunk so my feelings soften
Watching other people with their significant other
Feeling my insides begin to flutter
So sick of being all alone
Never letting my emotions truley show

I'm trashed right now so don't you judge me
I need some support right now, asap
Thinkiing of calling one of my exes
Anoyed with the thought so I surpress it
But its only human to need to feel loved
someone telling me I'm beautiful and my thighs being rubbed

I hate acting like a whore
When my insides cry feeling sore
But sometimes I need to have drunken sex
Filling me completly and feeling a flex
Afterwords I don't feel complete
fooling myself with my own deciet

I know I'm not the only one
Who hits it then quits it with a person who's done
Sex is all they were after in the end
But then I know that when we begin
So why do I feel so bad
Crying to sleep because I'm sad

I know it was just a booty-call
An obvious reason I was seduced by the word doll
But can you blame a girl in need of affection
When a guy says he has an erection
Telling me I'm fucking gorgeous
And promising me there might be an "us"

Mabey I'm just to drunk
To deny myself a raunchy good fuck
Even though my heart can't take it
I still give in an deal with shit
Because I'm lonley after all
I screw some guy and don't recall

When in my possible reality
I can't control my sensuality
And I shouldn't give a damn
Hook up with randoms and let them ram
Me into a fake happieness
Just throw myself into helplessness

Should I hate myself right now?
I gave in and allowed
Him to have his way with me
After all, it was me who agreed
To have a senseless love affair
Agianst myself to numb and impair