flinch

 
the gun went off in my mind, thoughts like bullets inflict damage
tell me who you really are
I need to know you within the hurt
 
insidious desires ingrained in the brain stem test my morals
a high arc then burn out
I try to get ahead but I don't which way is up
 
my morality lacks definition
I turn up to see what's real
in the heart of me I feel
the cold of the world makes me flinch
I look away I can't bare it
 
inside the pain I break,  
but don't you dare touch the realness of my soul
I pull away failing to connect
 
my burden great I've paid for this level of distance
I walked through the fire
my mind branded with understanding  
lessons I won't forget
 
there is humility in death
passing from one dominion to the other
someone is taking measurement of us
 
I'm grateful for my fear
it has taught me to be great in moments