Oh Tom...

Tom... no! Just listen… please.. if you love me.. leave Jerry alone  
It is I who needs to atone    
I swear to you he was only keeping me company while you were gone      
Wait.. just let me explain…      
There was... oh it begin to rain..  and... and...then    
He stood on the verandah and his clothes was all soaked so I invited him in    
     
Conversation ensued, I pulled out a bottle of Moet, and Swiss cheese    
And would you believe    
Aww.. some cheese got on my skirt so I had to aww.. take it off, but we sat there, and we did nothing    
Baby.. take a breath your chest is labored and puffing    
     
Here… baby drink this    
Okay… okay.. I will finish as you wish    
We were talking about daily affairs, and to my neck, I felt a crawling fire ant    
I screamed and accidentally knocked his glass out his hand and his champagne spilled all over his pants    
     
He had to take them off and followed by his Kenneth Cole jockey shorts and rested them on the couch to dry
The running stream saturated my thong, so he insisted I stand to remove them.. I did ask why    
He said he was a perfect gentleman and wiped the back of my legs and then slowly between my thighs    
He jokily said he wonder do my honeypot taste better    
I joked back and said yes, creamier and much wetter    
     
And you know us women, we just have to go the extra mile    
I laid back on the couch, laughing as he tenderly touched me... mm… sorry... something got caught in my throat.. ahem... oh yes… he kissed my jewel navel and I only smiled    
Then he placed my bent legs over his shoulders, palmed my buttocks, and got quite comfortable      
I never knew he was going to take care of my required needs for a while    
I mean fixing our.. our air conditioner until you returned    
Trust me this HVAC job he was hired for he has pleasurably earned    
     
And that is the story behind Tom and Jerry ongoing chasing feud