Lucifer's Marionette

How can I possibly find the way
that leads me back  
to love
to life,
when I can't even find  
a trail that takes me off this road
of utter darkness?
Despair
is so thick, it suffocates all hope.
Not one sliver of light
pierces  
the canopy of my desolate forest.
 
I still hear your voice.
It calls to me like siren song.
Unquestioned,
my heart obeys it's seductive command,
Blindly,
I'm running headlong into
the Abyss.
 
I trip over  
the skeletons of my past,
I fall into
pits that were dug by my own hands.
The demons I've collected
over the years like gemstones,
assail me with  
claw
and tooth  
and tail.
Dragons crawl fourth from the recesses of
my fractured soul.
Their firery breath leaves me
scorched  
to the bone by grief.
 
I find myself alone,
scaling jagged canyon walls  
and descending on hands and knees
the steep muddy banks  
of raging rivers,  
finding with my groping desperate hands,
the still smoldering piles of ash
of the bridges
I once enthusiastically  
used my only torch to burn.
 
Hysterically laughing now,
I curse the irony of
my self imposed fate.
I turn aimlessly around  
and continue on into the black wasteland.
 
I'm bruised and bleeding
Broken  
in both body and mind.  
But like a marionette
with Lucifer pulling the strings,
I  gleefully dance  
and skip and twirl,  
down the path of
total destruction.