I Still Wonder

We were once inseparable and nothing could tear us apart. You were my world and your birth gave my life purpose. For the first time I knew the feeling of real love, and then came the day you left me. I walked out of the courthouse crying and devastated. You and your Dad's girlfriend we're standing next to the car and I wanted to tell you I love you and I didn't want to let you go. But you turned your head away from me and laughed, I wanted to die right there.
I felt so betrayed and abandoned, I turned to look for you but you were gone.
I saw your face in my tears as they fell to the floor, I felt like my heart had been ripped opened and dropped to the ground. I wanted to run after you and drag your love back to me. The agony  I felt was indescribable to anybody in this world. My only thoughts were.. why won't she love me, why does she hate me?
 
9 years later and I realize not much has changed ...
I still feel betrayed and abandoned. I still see your face in my tears as they fall to the floor and it still feel as if my heart has been ripped open. I still wonder why you won't love me but I still want to run after you and drag your love back to me.
I miss you baby girl and I love you to the moon and back infinity.
                    Mama