deepundergroundpoetry.com
Strange Garden
Strange garden
This ancient Eden by the freeway
The perfumed aftermath of tragedy
Sorrow sleeping in delusion
Holy canyons
They echo with fallen healers
Reflections kneeling by the rivers
Of the saints they knew as children
Mourning Roses
Pressed in dead as dreamers
Who leave their pail and castles
To the wind for her dominion
Grey over grey eves
Brown over brown leaves
Three windows with their curtains drawn
Dissolving morning into
The stasis of deception
This ancient Eden by the freeway
The perfumed aftermath of tragedy
Sorrow sleeping in delusion
Holy canyons
They echo with fallen healers
Reflections kneeling by the rivers
Of the saints they knew as children
Mourning Roses
Pressed in dead as dreamers
Who leave their pail and castles
To the wind for her dominion
Grey over grey eves
Brown over brown leaves
Three windows with their curtains drawn
Dissolving morning into
The stasis of deception
Published 24th Apr 2021
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likes 6
reading list entries 5
comments 10
reads 810
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
24th Apr 2021 3:24am
Powerful poem, dearest lady.
I sit within his piece and let the feelings of loss and pain wash over me..... I respectfully send my sympathies and thoughts of healing
Nicely penned, Margo
🌹
xo
B
I sit within his piece and let the feelings of loss and pain wash over me..... I respectfully send my sympathies and thoughts of healing
Nicely penned, Margo
🌹
xo
B
24th Apr 2021 4:37am
Thank you honey, for the sweetness and
Love and respect in my particularly heavy ones. 😇😇
Love and respect in my particularly heavy ones. 😇😇
24th Apr 2021 5:27pm
You really have a way here, Margo. I think because you're so familiar with rhyme, it flows naturally through you.
garden/delusion
freeway/tragedy
etc.
The entire poem is stitched together with a melody of rhyme and half-rhyme. I would consider you a prime example of why it's always a good idea to learn old school, i.e. - rhyming, in order to break out beautifully. You're expanding and yet you're taking what you've learned and applying it to that expansion.
Well done. Excellent imagery.
garden/delusion
freeway/tragedy
etc.
The entire poem is stitched together with a melody of rhyme and half-rhyme. I would consider you a prime example of why it's always a good idea to learn old school, i.e. - rhyming, in order to break out beautifully. You're expanding and yet you're taking what you've learned and applying it to that expansion.
Well done. Excellent imagery.
29th Apr 2021 7:40am
Thank you so much ❤ That means the world. I'm a little confused. I just got on here because I saw I had another comment, but I read this one and I swore I responded. I hate that! I'm so sorry. You have such a thorough, generous critique which is what I want more than anything. Please know how much I appreciate you taking the time and how honored I am that you read and responded. I take a lot of inspiration from your knowledge. 🙏💗💗💗
25th Apr 2021 2:06am
Wow! Grief can feel strange, after all, we get used to having people around, then suddenly sometimes...
29th Apr 2021 7:42am
Thank you, I appreciate it. ❤ Sometimes I ask myself "are you ever going to stop complaining?" I have a habit of only being able to express the darker feelings and emotions. Anyway, thank you again.
26th Apr 2021 9:10am
Splendid write ... love the sophisticated rhyme ... excellent flow ... love how you used "mourning" and "morning" ... great use and spacing of homonyms ... the last line is pure poetic gold ... this is by far one of your very best poems that I have read ... a definite keeper ... love it ...
29th Apr 2021 7:50am
😃🤩🙏thank you Lildragonfly for taking the time to tell me what you appreciated about the poem. I love your comments and your talent so much. This is such a hard time and healing, reflective time too. I find myself stuck in the past again, but that's where the muse is I suppose. I'm so sorry I missed this when you sent it. 💞💞💞Have a lovely, creative day!
4th May 2021 3:50am
21st May 2021 8:22pm
