My future is in retrospect.!.

Lost, yet the hands I'm meant to hold for direction I'm busy cutting off  
Maybe I want you to beg me to let you save me  
Save me from drowning in despair, save me from drowning in hope  
Truth is i don't know what i want, i never have,
Maybe i want everything, maybe nothing  
Nothing is lost, yet constantly I find myself in search, for nothing  
Reading empty pages is how I talk to myself, in silence and seethe  
It takes bravery to let me see me cry, I'm the one ghost i can't hide from  
I'm as sombre as the winter sky, and just as still  
Dying to be born in a brighter dawn,  
But my future is in retrospect.!.