Ankh

In this consciousness that i partake-
I dream of thinking, instant escape-
It leads down paths of wisdom i can't retain-
And every passing glimpse seems to relate-

Immortality in it's word, lacks existence-
As each sand of time i meet brings resistance-
The penalty that is, just to witness-
Until each and every one of us forgets this-
-
Precious ink
fragile ruse
sentience in a blink
It's abuse
-
life in it's word, no profuse
yet it holds abundance in it's muse
Constant thoughts in their refuse
Until I've watched the dawn in bloom

when it is all settled and gone
it never was, so long
In butchering this swan song
A tune that I've played wrong
-
Stay strong
-
The cliche of now or never
Rolls my eyes as it surely renders
The mute whistles it's tune
Sunrise garden blooms
--
As if the enemy
Had an epiphany
Of what's into me
For now where would i hide?

Deadlocked
In ankh
As I'm caught
Up in life

It's the hesitation
Of my revelation
Before restoration
And strive

If i could just find, a way
To find that day
And not look away
From my eyes
--
To seek and catch the moment
Unrepentant atonement
Nothing to be apologetic for

Muscle and mind
Both need to unwind
I feel lazy, but i feel sore

And i look around
And it's so profound
At all the memories I've remissed

As if i found them and lost them again
Right through my hands
Spilled from my lips

The rarity of something
To sit unwanting
Is confronting in of itself

I admit i allow it to all pass by
As i struggle with declined mental health
--
And i know better
I know I've known better
A necessity to regain control

The self needs a reminder
Myself, i require
To simply own my own soul
-
But beyond the pain and hurt
It remains that life holds worth

And through the moments of mundane
Each day is a day to claim