Terminal torture

When I close my eyes
I can see the screaming stars
Threatening to leave the night
Till I'm alone in the suffocating dark

It's terminal torture
Living with dying synapses
Bricks crumble one by one
Till the brain finally collapses

Everything's exposed
But I still breathe
My heart lies crushed on the floor
Yet I don't bleed

I search for my lost soul
I must've dropped it along the way
Asking for help
But everyone just stares or looks away

Was life meant to be
A puzzle impossible to complete
Or did I miss something
Caught a disease that can't be beat

The doctor says to lie back
And just relax
But he's not the one
With all the knives stuck in his back

I just want to know
Why I'm different from everyone else
Why I'm haunted by a burning brain
And why no one can seem to help