breath

There is freedom in this silence
I breathe deep breaths  
returning to myself  
with each inhale and exhale
 
I miss you  
miss your mind
miss your wit
miss the stupid memes you'd send me
that I didn't understand  
but respected that they'd make you
laugh so hard you'd glow with it  
 
I don't miss the weight of your pain
and how you made me a sounding board
you tried to shatter with every rage
I was somehow responsible for
 
Because you can't make me  
something I'm not
and every failure on my part
was never a fuck you rebellion  
 
And I can't make you see the world  
through different eyes  
I can't be blamed for the beauty  
you refuse to see  
 
There is freedom in this silence
but it doesn't mean I don't miss you
 
I just like that in this moment  
I can breathe  
 
(C) Indie Adams 2020