deepundergroundpoetry.com
Salient Steps Part 3 of 3 (You May Go)
Iced earth
Boiled dirt
This fire flower burns
A light bright sky
Oceans lay dry
Colossus smoke
Cinder chokes
Burning grass
Planets of ash
Home at last
White hot suns
Flaming lungs
The soot of god
Moon dogs
Celestial lions
This kingdom is frying
Invigorating reality
Mystifying duality
The burning coals
Life's immortality
The salient step
No more climbing
The breath of death
Now I'm dying
Nothings left
Ether flying
Go on... go.......... gone
ELI
Boiled dirt
This fire flower burns
A light bright sky
Oceans lay dry
Colossus smoke
Cinder chokes
Burning grass
Planets of ash
Home at last
White hot suns
Flaming lungs
The soot of god
Moon dogs
Celestial lions
This kingdom is frying
Invigorating reality
Mystifying duality
The burning coals
Life's immortality
The salient step
No more climbing
The breath of death
Now I'm dying
Nothings left
Ether flying
Go on... go.......... gone
ELI
Published 4th Oct 2020
| Edited 5th Oct 2020
Author's Note
Art credit to Kristian Cvetanov... a beautiful piece... Thank you
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 443
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
6th Oct 2020 8:23pm
The details are interesting in their scope, but if you interspersed some more intimate images of loss, it would be more impacting. A child's tiny discarded shoe, the slow wend of a tear drop, a shadow standing over the silent stone of a tomb, the deep gulf of silence that pulls the air from the lungs of those in grief, etc. Nice work overall Elias.
7th Oct 2020 6:29pm
Sound suggestions Daniel... thank you... really it was about capturing each line ... each step if you will... a short visit... simple yet different... I appreciate you taking the energy not only to read this... but to actually engage with it... ✌🔥
8th Oct 2020 4:58pm
10th Dec 2020 6:05pm
10th Dec 2020 6:16pm
It sure does... I'm glad you identify with these steps 🔥... thanks for reading Cwolff
17th Feb 2021 7:50pm
I looked at it like climbing steps... (not sure up or down) with a snipbit of information on each step... accumulated it as I walk and slowly digesting, to form my own conclusions....
💜 - it
💜 - it
