Chasing My Master’s Degree While Running In The Opposite Direction

Wow... as they say time has flew, it has passed me by unto who I stand for today.

I am four days from entering my last year of obtaining a hard long drawn out process to receive my Master’s Degree in Nursing and Psychology as my minor.

It was just yesterday with my stamped passport in hand from the Republic of Haiti and my grann telling me not to return into our generation to heal has been met… the day I got off that Delta flight, and entered college would change the course of my college years, well into my adulthood.

The self-sacrifices I had to make just to stand on someone else’s principals. Looking back, I truly wonder was it all worth the effort, sometimes in life, why is it when we aspire to reach our greatness, in the home stretch the self-doubts began to seep through.

The bigger question, I continue to ask of myself, have I made the right decision to peruse someone else’s dream?

When I obtained my Associate Degree in Criminal Justice, moreso, out of rebellion, then a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing, I was elated, because I assumed that was a great feat, and time would stand still from there.

When I was selected to be a Nursing Director in the state of New York, a Nurse who never had any experience to lead a multi-staff and team under my supervision, I said... fine… due to the fact, it was another accomplishment, and the mentality either I sink or I swim.

Setting up my own, Another K Production Company, private webcam mistress, bathroom pictorial, Instagram hoping, erotic blogging, writing and publishing romance novels, found on Amazon/Kindle, book signings, all such beautiful breezes to my ego, yet not enough in my family’s eyes.

The wandering prodigal of my French/Haitian/Creole family, the last remaining member to climb the ladder of the medical profession.
 
No one gives me any credit for reaching such other heights, and it’s a blessing, I am still young and have acquired. I do pay my own tuition, well for my first semester I have, my grann has picked up that tab, to make sure, and I have no excuses.

However, now my ultimate achievement stands me in my eye, I am on the road to becoming a Nurse Practitioner … Joining the ranks of my generational calling. A calling I never truly wanted, I wanted to be a paralegal in a cozy law firm, and climb the legal ladder of success.

That ideal was flogged out of me, literally, conforming me to think as they do and as my grann says.

The woman is approaching ninety-four and still rules my life like a iron fist.

Thank goodness she is not here in the states, and she still thinks I write Children's Books.

You would think since I am a grown woman I have some say so  to my own dreams, my own aspirations, think again.

The higher up my family structure is, the more I get less options, and must only offer results, within the creed, to serve the purpose of humanity.

Wish me many blessings and the blessings of my future patients…

SKC, RN, DON