Whatever Happened To Friendship?

You used me and dashed me like a piece of trash you found on the side of the road;
Like the tissue used to blow ones nose or wipe their shit!
Whatever happened to all of that I CARE FOR YOU DEEPLY bullshit?
All that nothing and no one will ever come between our friendship? To turn around and just treat me like this?
Whatever happened to friendship...because this isn’t it?

Friendship is fairness.
Its mutual respect and trust and forgiveness!
How can you sleep at night knowing you’re destroying our friendship; whatever happened to friendship?

I’m beyond heart broken: to have lost more than a lover/more than a friend...at the same time;
Do you even know how many secret cries I’ve cried?
Do you have any idea how dead I feel inside?
How many times I’ve contemplated suicide?
You use to give me life; now because of you...I wanna die.
Whatever happened to friendship...I just want to permanently close my eyes?

I thank you though because even though you tore me to pieces; I am able to rebuild. Even though you made my life cloudy and my heart windy;
I can still see sunshine beyond the hill.
Even though you turned out to be everything I thought you weren’t; I had to digest and swallow that pill.
Whatever happened to friendship...it’s just sex...what’s the big deal?

I regret looking so passionately in your eyes,
I regret sitting atop & going for a ride,
I regret arching my back and opening my thighs,
I regret trembling with pleasure from your tongue in my backside,
I regret telling you my secrets...so many truths...so little lies,
I regret letting you hit raw only for you to request I kill our child,
Yet in all my regret of our late nights/mid-day rendezvous:
I will never dismiss what the experience has shown me in hindsight,
That it’s ok to cry,
That it’s ok to love and lose then to never have given love a try,
That fwb’s are not for those  that fall in love from an adrenaline high,
That love and sex are two different things and not to allow yourself to go blind,
That it’s ok for a sexual relationship to stop even if you still want to feel the other person inside,
That everything has its appointed start date and end time,
That just because you aren’t intimate anymore lovers...doesn’t mean you have to give way to pride;
That person or those ppl once meant something to you once upon a time;
Take it as a lesson learned and choose better next time;
Whatever happened to friendship...hopefully it will be redeemed & restored in another lifetime...