Hell

One year drug free
Grueling and torturous
Thought it would be worth it
Thought it would be better

I’m drowning in a sea
Suffocating, poisonous
Seems easier to just quit
Nothing seems to matter

Back to the pills
Try to numb the pain
I’m slowly losing my will
Slowing going insane

What does it feel like
To be pain free?
Can you even imagine
What it’s like being me?

From my head to my toes
And everywhere between
Pain overwhelms, grows
Becoming quite obscene

Can’t think straight
Can’t see clear
Is this my fate?
That is my fear

Feels like atonement
Payment for sins unknown
Did I hide bodies in the basement
In a past life not shown?

Maybe I should end it all
Take the pain away
Take a breath before the fall
I’m sorry, I can’t stay

Maybe I’m already dead
And this is really Hell
A million things left unsaid
Is any of this real?