Sallow

I miss the warmth radiating from your body on chilly nights when you hog the blanket.
Laying on your chest while I doze off to the cadence of your heart beat.  
I miss waking up before you only to stare at you while you slumber  
hoping that you'll feel my gaze and finally wake up so I won't have to wake you up selfishly and feel guilty for wanting every moment your attention like the spoiled brat that I am.  
Being in such close proximity to you will always give me tingles in places I care not to admit because the timing is never right when my pussy is wet.  
Rubbing my face anywhere of my choosing while you are fast asleep and at your most vulnerable.  
What a perverted thought right?  
To know I have that trust when I probably shouldn't deserve it.    
Especially not the way I wish to ravish you right now  
while you're peacefully unresponsive  
Your skin has never failed to bring out the predator in me    
The one that I shun and hide away when daylight comes around and children are about because this narrative is TVMA  
That skin is trouble  
Right down to that fudge colored kielbasa that I obsess about  
The one that caused me my first car accident because I had to touch myself amid traffic in the rain to keep myself from going crazy.  
I see the reflection of my legacy in the polish of your mahogany brown skin  
Kissed by the suns smile    
there staring back at me is the ghost of my joy  
As if I'm meeting myself for the first time  
God, how I miss that honeyed gloss that painted the perfect picture of who I am and would like to become  
I will die by the out stretch hand of brown love