Shivers

this time  
it was I
who got away  
my turn  
to spurn  
a love  
and say goodbye
 
it doesn't  
sit any better  
knowing it's  
someone else  
who gets hurt  
for a change  
their heart  
churning, burning  
yearning for  
a reconciliation  
 
which is worse?  
to love and lose  
or be the one  
who turns love down  
which is worse  
I want to know  
either way  
I can not say  
love to me  
is but a curse  
that sends  
a shiver  
or something worse  
down my spine  
then into verse