A painless day with a painless death is all I wish

I don’t fear death, I fear the pain it will bring.
Will I hear the devils laugh or angels sing?

I wish a painless death because all I feel is pain.
A million different tactics and every day is the same.

Either mental or physical they balance one another out.
When I’m laughing and joking inside I secretly shout.

Misery loves company and I can never be alone.
Best wishes behind a bottle of booze and being stoned.

Meds never really worked shit made things way worse.
A guinea pig amongst the government's curse.

So another poem saying farewell as I die to another day.
Maybe tonight will be the night I finally decide to pray.