A Soldiers Story

I spoke to a man
Who fought on the front line
he told me many stories
He told me of his change in time
standing trapped in endless visions
And the sounds when they attack
him drowning in a bloodbath
while carrying comrades on his back

With each breath
The smell of sulfur lingers
with images of blood and pain
He collects the tags among the fallen
They did not die in vain
Burning towns and villages
Blood-stained ground, oh! the slaughter
Of the Innocent women and children
fathers and mothers

Struggling with all his might
Just to keep himself alive
As he crawls through the bloodshed
Helps to keep him in disguise
He thinks of only good thoughts
His friends, his wife, his family
How does one keep sane?
If a thousand deaths cover thee..?

Alone, not a sound, or spoken word
silence is all to clear….
He Searches for his comrades
avoiding the hidden land mines in fear
Robbed of sleep, he grows weaker
hes in a fragile state
survival seeking vengeance
his eyes now filled with hate

These casualties of war
are of his fallen brothers
collecting tags, pictures, letters
to give peace to family members
He’s in a lucid dream-like state
racing thoughts keep him awake
For all he knows has fallen dead
so he tries his best to be brave

He’s lucky to be alive
Yet he’s full of al this baggage
Trying to be your hero?
full of happiness and courage?

Home is with the fallen,
As he tries his best to make it,
as most of his comrades
came back in a casket.

The life he lives is different
a new disturbing mindset.
That builds up rage inside him,
Feeling he'd be better off dead.

He lives in fear of reality
To be rejected by his own.
For all he knows now,
are lost to the fallen war.

Many thoughts come to his mind-
Like can he walk among the living?
Or be condemned for what hes done?
The greatest acts, of all his sin?

He believes he did what was right
Yet he feels so much weight and tension.
Could this be just paranoia?
The thought society will reject him?

He wants to be remembered for the good?
Not be his sins of sorrow...
He wants his battles fought and won
For Making it a better tomorrow?

Will these memories ever leave him
As The war lives on inside his mind
With all this damage
Can It be left behind?

He wants to be there
Yet he doesn't understand it
His life has changed around him
How can his wife be so committed
Can he start his life over?
As his children they grew
With Only letters and pictures
Was his proof his love was true

He may appear to be alive
Yet haunted on the inside,
As memories come on through
He's hanging on to dear life.
Nothing has changed
As He struggles his way through
A life that's so different
Than what he once new

With his rage and pent up anxiety
Then alone in his thoughts
No one can understand
He’s not qualified for anything else

He feels always misunderstood,
And a burden to his town
So he thinks it would be better
If he was six feet underground

This struggle he can’t forget
It lives inside his head,
He keeps silent
Still seeing the bloodshed.
Nothing’s ever over,
it’s all around you.
he is lucky to be alive,
Sadly now, too broken to continue.

Society welcomes him
With loving open arms,
but can they help him
take away these scars?
Nothing is ever over,
it’s all far from over.
His memories turn him
Into a monster

Then he understands
Why his family left him
It all starts with a sound
Painful reminders of a trigger,
Hurting all the ones that matter.

Is it worth the loss of many?,
He feels lost and left behind.
Swallowed by his personal hell,
Will his war ever be over,
He is reliving moments of wickedness
Picking up the pieces every day,
battles strike inside his head.
But all his selfless acts
kept us all safe and free.

So stick up for one another,
they've suffered and survived
Fighting for his county
all while trying to stay alive.

Joanna Ryan-McDonald