F*ck Being a Girl

Fuck being a girl, I’m over this shit
Is there some place    
I can return my uterus?  
that thing is trash, please take it back    
Secreting hormones  
 that flow through my veins    
Fucking with my emotions    
and driving me insane  
I may not have balls but I’m certainly nuts    
   
There’s no other explanation    
for why I keep wasting my time    
on worthless men    
These dumb ass, idiots    
that would make even  
the scarecrow grateful,  to not have a brain, knowing it was capable, of coming out like that.    
   
We all know these men,    
walking around    
governed by their little head    
because there ain’t anything of value up top,    
in their thick caveman skulls.    
Just living on instinct,    
incapable of rational thought  
Knock knock, Is anyone home?  
Nope, hollow as fuck.  
   
These sad pathetic excuses for men  
The liars and cheaters    
manipulative, game playing whores  
users and abusers    
Quite frankly, pussies covered in charm  
   
But I gotta give it to them,  
They sure know how to play    
some of us women like fiddles...    
Hiding their true intentions  
Selling us bullshit yet convincing us it’s love  
We sit there, wagging our tails    
begging for more, eating  that shit up    
like a dog with a  fresh bone.  
   
And here’s the real kicker  
we see that shit coming from a mile away    
 but still fall for their tricks  
It’s like a scratched cd    
where your favorite song skips    
yet you keep trying to play it    
hoping that somehow, it’s suddenly fixed  
Now that’s a trip    
   
Like I said, I’m over this shit.    
Who knew having a vagina  
 would cause such a mess.    
Dumb lazy fucks want full access  
but aren’t willing to pay  
the full price of admission.    
Over here bartering and haggling    
discounted  rates on couture clit    
But we’re the ones    
underselling our top shelf pussy, at house rates.    
No dick has ever been worth all this added stress.    
   
Fuck this girly girl bullshit    
that makes me get all mushy    
and weak in my knees    
Making me cry at sappy movies    
and sing along to love songs    
Making my heart skip a beat and rapidly flutter    
or some other sappy ass shit    
that pulls and tugs at my heart strings.    
   
Clearly the heart has to go too    
Making me soft and weak  
Falling for lies and deceit    
eyes wide open and mind fully intact  
God damn it, I’m smarter than that  
Yep, you can have it back    
just call me the tinwoman    
Or better yet...  
   
Long live the ice queen!!  
Cold as fuck, taking no shit    
Living her best life, frozen inside    
Now that’s where it’s at...