Hypocrite

They say write down how you feel and what you don’t say,

But there’s so much shit running through my mind everyday.

How can I write down all these thoughts when my brain is like the weather, always changing.

Good things can happen but then my brain starts rearranging,

My mind so cluttered it would cause panic to someone with OCD.

Anything I do anymore causes anxiety, shaking and breaking inside can’t breathe,

I should know better by now than to wear my heart on my sleeve.

Who am I kidding my mind isn’t the only thing that’s a mess,

I know having love, support and positive people in my life should make me feel blessed.

“Think happy thoughts and don’t forget to smile” they tell me,

But I don’t know how to depressed isn’t something I Chose to be.

I tell others that there’s lots of reasons to live, it makes no sense.

I guess That makes me a hypocrite.